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January 21, 2013

Dating over 35

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 11:07 am

Looking for some fun on November 30, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I’m a 37-year-old graduate student who’s having the usual dating difficulties common among those of us who are old and grey and cankered. I know (since you mentioned it) that there’s a book entitled “How to Get Married Over 35” and I’ve had a look at that; the problem is that I don’t want to get married, I just want a date or three, and so the advice is just a trifle off the mark (I mean, I don’t want to meet a nice church going man who wants a mother for his three sons, as much as this would doubtless be another woman’s dream).

Therefore, I’m wondering if you (equipped as you are with superhearing, supersight and super-connection-to-this-particular-aspect-of-the-Publishing-world) happen to know of any other titles, websites, mailing-lists, what have you, that are focused on this particular segment of the dateless population (old farts).

There are tons of on-line personals ads, of course — but I’m not interested in sending erotic e-mail to a phantom on the other side of the globe. My fantasy life works just fine all by itself (after all, as you pointed out, fantasies are just that, and that’s why they’re fun). I’m looking for more concrete suggestions.

Do you have any? Suggestions, that is…

— Jo

Dear Jo,

Yeah, right, skip the Father/Are-You-My-Mother? church picnic. And right, I don’t think you need any more How-Tos. I think you need To Dos. Well, DO keep at it with the online personals. You can search by continent, if not actual city. It’s a streamlined approach for the otherwise busy and impatient. Otherwise, on the Internet (it’s tough: choose your search terms wisely or you’ll get this) I’d say (again) see where ivillage gets you. I’d also say: DO it yourself. Somewhere offline. Make flyers, I don’t know, for an Old Farts Social. Or for an Old Maids Tea. You’re clever and funny; you can do this without being lame and dorky. I’m telling you: build it, and they will come, cankers and all, out of the goddamn woodwork.

Breakup Girl

PS Lots of your peers write to me, you know. If you all (you know who you are) drop me an email (bg@breakupgirl.net), give me permission to give your e-addresses only to each other — AND ASK ME NICELY — I’ll hook you alterkockers up.

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