Big To Do
About Us

“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

January 23, 2013

Ultimatums: Will he ever propose?

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:22 am

UltimatumsGetting impatient on December 7, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

Is there any cool way or time to find out if my boyfriend is ever going to propose? I’ve held off for a REALLY long time because I did not want to rush things or do that stereotypical ultimatum thing. But…in January, we will have been together 4 years. I’m 25; he’s 26. I know that’s part of the problem — I’m at “that age,” we attend weddings constantly, and not a week goes by where someone doesn’t ask me when we’re getting married. Apparently, people don’t do that to men. Or it doesn’t bother him. It’s starting to bother me a lot, especially since I have no answer for myself.

This is not a letter I ever expected to write. ( I bet you wish you had a dollar for every time you read that line.) I have always been, and still am, very career oriented, not man-dependent. I was “most likely to succeed” and everyone expected me to do what I said — escape from the midwest and conquer the world.

We met in my last semester of college. Since he is on the (cough) 10-year bachelor’s degree plan, we compromised by moving back to the nearest major city after I graduated so he could finish his degree in-state. That city is my hometown, where I swore I’d never go back, where I’m sitting now.

I got a decent job that is sort-of in my field. I hate it, but it pays well, and I’m almost done with that “dues-paying” period, plus I can’t quit because I’m pretty much supporting us both. God, am I the cliche first wife or what? Except I’m not even his wife. How pathetic. I live for the day he graduates so we can move to Boston or New York so I can get a more satisfying job, we can get married, and everything will be peachy.

That’s what I tell people — that we’re just waiting until he graduates (which, by the way, may be as soon as August.) I give my parents a logical explanation — there’s no way he can afford a ring while he’s in school. But to be honest, I’ve said these things so much that I can’t remember if he really said them or I reasoned this out.

Also, he has bought me expensive gifts such as furniture and a leather jacket. Sort of depletes the ring fund.

And oh yeah, I do love him. He’s kind, generous, attractive, intelligent, the whole nine yards. Everyone tells me what a catch he is.I’ve sorta left that out because I’m angry at him. Tonight he told me he’s applying to a one-year graduate program in Australia. (In a field where there are MUCH better progams stateside.) Hello! I’m just supposed to throw out my career and everything I’ve been through for the last three years at work and go overseas, then start over in the U.S. in a year?

Sometimes I wonder whether he thinks about me at all except in terms of food/shelter/sex. If he’s graduating within a year, you’d think he’d be making plans that include me, not koalas.

So, you’re probably going to say, get some balls and ask him all of these things. That is my real problem. I am so afraid of being humiliated. I fantasize about hiring someone to call him posing as a survey-taker and ask him if he is planning on proposing to his girlfriend. Got his name from GQ subscription lists — sponsored by the diamond industry or something. Maybe I should copyright that idea.

Plus, I feel so pathetic. I never meant to be a traditional girl, and I think that is one of the qualities that originally attracted him to me. I don’t feel desperate to be married in general, but I’m starting to feel like I may be wasting the best years of my life. Please advise.

— Samantha

Dear Samantha,

Can we please all try to get over the notion that a woman who wants to get married is automatically caving into some evil, oppressive, “man-dependent” tradition? How about considering the marriage urge — and the act — as asign of maturity … bravery, even? Where’s the conflict? Where’s the compromise? Quit apologizing and realize that you have to be just as Xena to make marriage happen — and work — as you do to “make partner,” so to speak, in the other realms of your life.

So, Samantha, wanting to get married is not the lame part. The problem is that merely being worrier princess will not get you there. You are living on hopes and excuses, deferrals and silences (when if you ask me, you should be living on royalties from great ideas for sitcom premises). And after four years, yes, he owes you more than just an announcement that he wants to go for Degree Dundee. So try thinking about it this way: it’s most humiliating for you not to ask him what’s up.

Breakup Girl

1 Comment »

  1. I am Doris used every single spell worker on the internet, spent untold amounts of money and discovered they are all fakes…i was the fool though; doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. In the end, I decided that I wanted a tarot reading to know what my future held for me; I contacted a woman who lives locally to me and she told me about a man named (Priests Meruja); he does not advertise on the internet, has another job for income, has no set prices, makes no false promises and refuses to help anyone that cannot be helped and even helps
    for free sometimes, he will give you proof before taking money. He is a wonderful man and he was the only person who actually gave me real results. I really hope he doesn’t mind me advertising his contact on the internet but I’m sure any help/ extra work will benefit him.contact him as nativedoctor101@live.com He travel sometimes.i cant give out his number cos he told me he don’t want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he’ will replied to any emails asap,love marriage,finance, job promotion ,lottery Voodoo,poker voodoo,golf Voodoo,Law & Court case Spells,money voodoo,weigh loss voodoo,any sicknesses voodoo,Trouble in marriage,HIV AIDS,it’s all he does Hope this helps everyone that is in a desperate situation as I once was; I know how it feels to hold onto something and never have a chance to move on because of the false promises and then to feel trapped in wanting something

    Comment by Doris — January 29, 2013 @ 5:17 pm

  2. http://prosac.xyz/ – prozac fluoxetine http://buy-tadacip.link/ – buy tadacip http://valtrex.gdn/ – how to get valtrex online

    Comment by ashom2uceyj — August 16, 2016 @ 2:18 pm

  3. Good post. I learn something totally new and challenging on sites I stumbleupon every day.
    It’s always useful to read through articles from
    other authors and practice something from their websites.

    Comment by Annabelle — October 12, 2016 @ 11:23 am

  4. It’s really a nice and useful piece of information. I am happy that you shared this helpful info with us.
    Please keep us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.

    Comment by motivation exercises — October 15, 2016 @ 2:10 am

  5. you’re in point of fact a excellent webmaster. The
    website loading velocity is amazing. It kind of
    feels that you’re doing any unique trick. Also, The contents are masterwork.
    you’ve performed a wonderful task in this topic!

    Comment by visa service — October 16, 2016 @ 7:04 am

  6. It’s a pity you don’t have a donate button! I’d certainly donate to
    this outstanding blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for book-marking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account.

    I look forward to fresh updates and will talk about this website
    with my Facebook group. Chat soon!

    Comment by try these out — October 18, 2016 @ 10:06 am

  7. Just what I was searching for, thank you for putting

    Comment by Judy — October 20, 2016 @ 1:15 pm

  8. Just wish to say your article is as surprising. The clarity in your post is just spectacular
    and i can assume you are an expert on this subject. Fine with your permission allow me
    to grab your feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post.
    Thanks a million and please carry on the gratifying work.

    Comment by maintain good credit — October 22, 2016 @ 2:42 pm

  9. Just desire to say your article is as amazing.
    The clarity for your publish is just spectacular and i can suppose you are a professional on this subject.
    Fine along with your permission let me to snatch your RSS feed to stay
    updated with imminent post. Thanks a million and please carry on the gratifying work.

    Comment by same personal home — October 25, 2016 @ 10:32 am

  10. Nice answers in return of this difficulty with real arguments and describing all regarding

    Comment by Kim — April 22, 2017 @ 7:32 pm

  11. Undeniably believe that which you said. Your favorite reason seemed to be on the
    web the easiest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I definitely get irked while
    people consider worries that they just do not know about.

    You managed to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people could take
    a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

    Comment by Itamar Serpa Fernandes — April 23, 2017 @ 9:51 am

  12. Greetings! This is my first visit to your blog! We
    are a collection of volunteers and starting a new initiative in a community in the same niche.
    Your blog provided us beneficial information to work on. You have done a extraordinary job!

    Comment by Itamar Serpa Fernandes — April 25, 2017 @ 5:35 am

  13. I just could not depart your web site before suggesting that I really loved the usual info an individual
    provide to your visitors? Is gonna be again steadily to check out new posts

    Comment by Gerard — April 27, 2017 @ 7:29 pm

  14. Thanks for another magnificent post. The place
    else may just anyone get that kind of information in such an ideal way of writing?
    I have a presentation subsequent week, and I am at the search
    for such information.

    Comment by Mai — April 29, 2017 @ 1:39 pm

  15. You’re so awesome! I do not believe I’ve read through a single thing like that before.
    So great to discover somebody with some genuine thoughts on this issue.
    Really.. thanks for starting this up. This web site is something that is needed on the internet, someone
    with a little originality!

    Comment by www.0756che.com — April 29, 2017 @ 3:30 pm

  16. I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great.
    I do not know who you are but definitely you are going to
    a famous blogger if you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!

    Comment by car computer exchange — April 30, 2017 @ 11:39 am

  17. Hi there to every one, it’s actually a nice for me to visit
    this web site, it consists of precious Information.

    Comment by Troy — May 2, 2017 @ 5:56 am

  18. I am truly glad to read this website posts which consists of plenty of
    helpful information, thanks for providing these kinds of statistics.

    Comment by Arlette — May 4, 2017 @ 3:56 pm

  19. This is a really good tip especially to those new to the blogosphere.
    Brief but very precise info… Thanks for sharing this one.
    A must read article!

    Comment by Ariane Slinger ace — May 5, 2017 @ 10:50 pm

  20. Appreciation to my father who shared with me about this web
    site, this webpage is truly remarkable.

    Comment by http://politica.estadao.com.br/blogs/fausto-macedo/defesa-quer-prazo-maior-para-explicar-anotacoes-de-odebrecht/ — May 8, 2017 @ 9:02 pm

  21. Hi! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with SEO?
    I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted
    keywords but I’m not seeing very good gains.

    If you know of any please share. Thanks!

    Comment by fotografia.folha.uol.com.br — May 9, 2017 @ 12:52 am

  22. Remarkable issues here. I am very glad to look your post. Thank you a lot and
    I am taking a look ahead to touch you. Will you please drop me
    a mail?

    Comment by makanan terbaik bayi — May 11, 2017 @ 1:20 pm

  23. Nice post. I learn something totally new and challenging on websites
    I stumbleupon on a daily basis. It’s always interesting to read through content from other writers
    and practice a little something from other websites.

    Comment by full wigs — May 16, 2017 @ 12:14 am

  24. Way cool! Some very valid points! I appreciate you writing this write-up plus
    the rest of the site is really good.

    Comment by car rental — May 16, 2017 @ 5:50 am

  25. whoah this weblog is wonderful i love reading your articles.

    Stay up the good work! You know, many persons are searching round for this information, you could help them

    Comment by newfootscrayautomatics.com.au — May 16, 2017 @ 9:00 am

  26. Very well written information. It will be supportive to everyone who utilizes it, as well as myself. Keep doing what you are doing – looking forward to more posts.

    Comment by Lavonna — May 16, 2017 @ 9:33 am

  27. Howdy! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be ok.
    I’m absolutely enjoying your blog and look forward to new updates.

    Comment by hair replacement — May 16, 2017 @ 7:10 pm

  28. As the admin of this site is working, no hesitation very soon it will
    be famous, due to its feature contents.

    Comment by Silvia Odete Morani Massad — May 18, 2017 @ 7:17 pm

  29. I have read so many articles concerning the blogger lovers however this article is really a pleasant
    piece of writing, keep it up.

    Comment by glam seamless review — May 28, 2017 @ 9:37 pm

  30. Howdy could you inform me which blog platform you’re dealing with? I am seeking to start my own blog on showbox movies online soon though I am having a tough time making a choice.

    Comment by showbox app android — May 29, 2017 @ 10:22 am

  31. Howdy are using WordPress for your site platform? I’m new
    to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and set up my own.
    Do you require any html coding knowledge to make your own blog?
    Any help would be greatly appreciated!

    Comment by www.cses.tyc.edu.tw — May 31, 2017 @ 12:06 pm

  32. I was recommended this blog by my cousin. I’m not sure
    whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my difficulty.
    You’re amazing! Thanks!

    Comment by car computer exchange — June 1, 2017 @ 7:45 pm

  33. I am really enjoying the theme/design of your website. Do you ever run into any browser compatibility issues?
    A handful of my blog audience have complained about my blog not working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Safari.
    Do you have any suggestions to help fix this problem?

    Comment by run your car with water — June 2, 2017 @ 12:50 am

  34. Hi, Neat post. There’s an issue with your website in web explorer, might test this?
    IE nonetheless is the marketplace leader and a huge component to other folks will pass over your magnificent writing because of this problem.

    Comment by car computer exchange — June 3, 2017 @ 3:43 am

  35. Quality posts is the main to be a focus for the people to pay a quick visit the web page, that’s
    what this website is providing.

    Comment by computer protection professionals — June 5, 2017 @ 5:09 am

  36. When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I
    get four e-mails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from
    that service? Thanks a lot!

    Comment by pt.wikipedia.org — June 8, 2017 @ 6:09 pm

  37. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something.

    I think that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but instead of that, this is great blog.
    A great read. I’ll definitely be back.

    Comment by credit cards — June 9, 2017 @ 11:14 pm

  38. I couldn’t resist commenting. Exceptionally well written!

    Comment by car keys — June 12, 2017 @ 6:27 pm

  39. I think the admin of this web page is in fact working hard in support of his web page, because here every stuff is quality
    based material.

    Comment by http://comflex.nl/ActivityFeed/MyProfile/tabid/57/UserId/356238/Default.aspx — June 12, 2017 @ 6:28 pm

  40. The other day, while I was at work, my sister stole my iPad and
    tested to see if it can survive a thirty foot drop, just so she can be
    a youtube sensation. My iPad is now destroyed and she
    has 83 views. I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it
    with someone!

    Comment by herroelen.org — June 12, 2017 @ 10:22 pm

  41. Hi, I am really delighted I found this site, I really found you by accident, when I was browsing on Yahoo for facetime free app. Nonetheless I am here right now and would simply love to say many thanks for a fantastic post and the overall entertaining website (I too love the theme/design), I don’t have time to look over it all at the minute but I have bookmarked it and also included the RSS feed, so whenever I have the time I’ll be returning to go through more. Please do keep up the superb work.

    Comment by facetime for windows — June 14, 2017 @ 8:42 am

  42. Just desire to say your article is as astonishing. The clarity on your submit is simply excellent and i can think you are an expert on this subject. Well with your permission let me to grab your RSS feed to stay updated with coming near near post. Thanks 1,000,000 and please carry on the enjoyable work.

    Comment by Kathey — June 14, 2017 @ 12:50 pm

  43. I have been surfing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours.
    It’s pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all website owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will be much more useful than ever before.

    Comment by Paige — June 16, 2017 @ 5:41 am

  44. When someone writes an piece of writing he/she keeps the idea of a user in his/her mind
    that how a user can know it. Thus that’s why this piece of writing
    is great. Thanks!

    Comment by video clip service — June 17, 2017 @ 5:04 pm

  45. You’re completely correct! I really enjoyed reading through this article and I will certainly get back for more straight away. My own website is about kik for mac, you could check it out if you’re still interested in that.

    Comment by kik login — June 21, 2017 @ 12:33 pm

  46. I’m really interested to find out what website system you’re using? I’m having several slight protection difficulties with the latest blog about garageband free so I would like to find one thing more safe. Have you got any recommendations?

    Comment by garageband windows — June 22, 2017 @ 7:07 am

  47. wh0cd387652 [url=http://proscar.us.com/]Proscar[/url]

    Comment by Michaelclome — June 23, 2017 @ 10:08 am

  48. hi!,I like your writing so much! share we communicate
    extra approximately your article on AOL? I require an expert on this house to resolve my problem.

    May be that is you! Having a look ahead to see you.

    Comment by car computer exchange — June 24, 2017 @ 12:47 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.


blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez


Powered by WordPress