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February 15, 2013

Ultimatums: Getting serious

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:10 am

UltimatumsFollowing up on December 7, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

Ok…so here is my update from last month…I’m still dating Gravy or as he calls it “we are seeing each other.” It is now going past 4 months of dating…I’m over my ex (ya know, the one who left me 3 months before our wedding date). But here is the real clicker.

I really like Gravy….I know I didn’t want something serious at first. I mean HELLOO, I just went through a rilly crappy ordeal 6 months ago. But now I’ve moved on & here I am with Gravy who lives an hour & a half aways…calls me just about every night & sees me every weekend! Sex is great may I add & then the discussion of what are we comes up!

He doesn’t want anything serious — well hello again! We are only spending every weekend together (not just in bed either). I go to all the family functions as if I was a part of his family. But he says he doesn’t want anything serious as he doesn’t want to have to answer to anyone. When the question of are you sleeping with anyone else came up he states no not at all but he would tell me if he was! HELP! I don’t want to be a teenie bopper at 27 telling a guy its me or hit the highway but heck…I do respect myself & yet I know he rilly rilly likes me or he wouldn’t want to spend all this time & money on me! So what can I do…any advice…I mean heck…I’m not looking for marriage yet…but it would be nice for a little commitment or am I expecting way too much way to soon?

— J


Dear J,

If it makes Gravy feel better to issue “nothing serious” disclaimers while acting all boyfriendy — like Tile Guy, above — then fine. But after four months of weekends and family functions, you are totally entitled to request that he not see, much less sleep with, anyone else. He is entitled to accept or decline your request. And if he declines, you won’t be on the next Gravy Train, will you?

Love,
Breakup Girl

1 Comment »

  1. If any man says, “I don’t want anything serious,” it means that he doesn’t want *anything* serious.
    If any man says, “I don’t want to answer to anyone,” it means that he doesn’t want to answer to *anyone*.

    So when a woman says, “I’m not looking for marriage yet,” it means she wasn’t listening to him.
    When a woman says, “It would be nice for a little commitment,” it means she wasn’t listening to him.
    When a woman asks, “Am I expecting way too much way too soon?” I’m going to have to say that she’s asking way to much from someone who “doesn’t want anything serious.” The “too soon” is irrelevant. He told her that he doesn’t want to be that serious EVER.

    This man clearly enjoys the sex and her company. If she want commitment, she’ll have to find a different man.

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