Big To Do
About Us

“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

February 26, 2013

Missing my ex

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:31 am

Regretting it on December 7, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

Firstly… you rock.

Secondly, I’m kind of a wreck, so I seek your counsel, once again, for a little perspective on my breakup nine months ago. To recap: I’m 29. Me and “John” broke up four times during the four and a half years that we dated, first he with me, then me with him…etc. Every time we got back together it was always because we tried to be friends, and then one thing led to another–you get the idea. We would keep our reconciliations from our friends for as long as possible because we knew they wouldn’t understand. Well, actually, it was mostly my friends who wouldn’t understand because they always felt that John perhaps wasn’t the best man for me, even though they all really loved him a lot, and thought he was a great guy.

When we finally broke up for the last time, it was my decision. We were in the midst of a secret reconciliation, but this time I was really sure that it was not what I wanted at all, but I didn’t know how to stop the cycle. I went to a party, got together with a guy there (with John asleep in my bed at home), and that basically started the whole ball rolling…I told John a few days later that I was going to go on a date–we had decided that we could still date other people, a theory that had yet to be tested–and he obviously became very upset. OK, I told him on his birthday…but you really can’t plan the timing of events like this, right? I went on the date, the date spent the night, John “stopped by” my house the next morning at 6:00 a.m. and proceeded to scare the living daylights out of me/date by banging on the windows, calling incessantly, trying the door, and waiting for us as we came out the front door.

After that whole incident I was embarrassed, humiliated, and really REALLY over John. That was in February. I started looking for jobs out-of-state, actually found one, and moved in May. I really felt that if I didn’t move far away, the cycle would begin again. I needed the space to regroup and figure out if John was right for me or not. He asked me to marry him, I said no (no ring, just desperation), and I told him I just didn’t know. He told me he couldn’t wait forever. I understood and moved anyway. Haven’t seen him since.

So, here I am, nine months later, in a new town, living the single life, yet thinking about John all the time. I’ve been on many horrific dates, and each one makes John look even better. I miss him so much and I really want to talk to him but I don’t think it would be fair for me to call and say I miss him… I guess I just need someone to tell me that just because John was so great doesn’t mean he’s the right man for me. But my question is…is there a perfect match out there? John is so terrific in so many ways, I don’t “hate” him at all, and actually have mostly fond memories of our relationship–especially the last segment. But after so many breakups I just really don’t feel that I can invest my emotions in a relationship with him anymore. I will always have reservations because it seems that we are destined to live out the cycle over and over and over again. And each time we break up, my heart breaks so very deeply. I can’t break up with John any more.

Help me Breakup Girl! You are my only hope! Can I call him? Do I move on and think of him in the past tense? Will I ever see John again?

–Alison Heartbreak

Dear AH,

“Just because John was so great doesn’t mean he’s the right man for you.”

There. Okay?

From what you say in your penultimate paragraph, it sounds to me like what you have — at last — is a healthy breakup. It’s the presence of horrific dates — not the absence of John — that occasionally make the split look like a bad idea. So: that’s a Yes! on the “past tense,” a No! on the “perfect,” and a Live! in the present.

Breakup Girl


  1. online casino
    [url=http://casinoline17.com/]real money casino[/url]
    online slots
    online casino

    Comment by Brendaanaxy — February 28, 2018 @ 1:55 am

  2. Neat blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere? A theme like yours with a few simple tweeks would really make my blog stand out. Please let me know where you got your theme. Thanks a lot

    Comment by Lelandedind — March 13, 2018 @ 5:42 pm

  3. cialis super active max dose cialis india prezzo basso cialis steroid use buy cialis jelly tablets usa buy cialis 60 mg online cialis en colima cialis compr viagra cialis levitra cialis prices us drugs http://jvrimages.com/#canadian+cialis cialis once daily uk new cialis commercial 2011 price for cialis 20mg cialis generico in farmaci cheap overnight cialis taking cialis and alcohol

    Comment by cialis online — March 24, 2018 @ 2:10 am

  4. kamagra shop erfahrungsberichte
    buy kamagra 100 mg oral jelly
    kamagra jelly usa
    kamagra london reviews
    kamagra reviews users

    Comment by kamagra oral jelly 100mg price in india — March 27, 2018 @ 10:25 pm

  5. San diego arrest warrant lookup, http://access-background-checks.science/public-court-records-california-free.html mn public court records search.

    Comment by check background — March 29, 2018 @ 5:13 pm

  6. canada drug prices
    canadian pharmacies shipping to usa
    mexican pharmacies
    pharmacy canada

    Comment by Michaelflals — April 3, 2018 @ 2:54 am

  7. ajanta kamagra 100 chewable tablet
    kamagra kopen waar
    kamagra oral jelly 100mg
    kamagra 100mg
    kamagra oral jelly 100mg price
    kamagra 100mg oral jelly suppliers

    Comment by the kamagra store — April 3, 2018 @ 6:20 pm

  8. canada pharmacies without script
    pharmacy without dr prescriptions
    the canadian pharmacy

    Comment by Michaelflals — April 4, 2018 @ 1:02 pm

  9. kamagra reviews
    kamagra 100mg tablets for sale usa
    kamagra 100mg chewable
    kamagra store info erfahrungen
    kamagra bezorgen rotterdam
    kamagra bestellen nederland

    Comment by buy kamagra online — April 4, 2018 @ 1:05 pm

  10. Thanks for the write up. I certainly agree
    with what you’re saying. I have been discussing this subject a lot
    recently with my brother so hopefully this will get him to
    see my point of view. Fingers crossed!

    my web-site; phone psychic reading

    Comment by phone psychic reading — April 8, 2018 @ 1:47 am

  11. Excellent article mate, keep up the good work,
    just shared this with my buddies

    my web-site; clairvoyant psychic

    Comment by clairvoyant psychic — April 8, 2018 @ 2:52 pm

  12. comprar viagra cialis o levitra genericos if
    levitra 10 mg prezzo
    levitra wikipedia francais selena
    levitra coupon
    maximale dosierung levitra 20mg

    Comment by MarkTup — April 13, 2018 @ 5:02 pm

  13. Omg, great blog layout! Just how long have you been blogging for?
    you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your web
    site is fantastic, let alone the content!

    Also visit my web page – Genf20 Side Effects

    Comment by Genf20 Side Effects — April 17, 2018 @ 8:55 pm

  14. required medical for viagra
    viagra without a doctor prescription
    female viagra side effects
    viagra online

    Comment by AllenSmoma — April 19, 2018 @ 1:33 am

  15. I just now discovered your blog post and now
    I’m among your followers.

    Here is my web page :: north vancouver real Estate

    Comment by north vancouver real Estate — April 19, 2018 @ 3:40 am

  16. vision and viagra
    viagra for women
    boost as viagra
    viagra without a doctor prescription

    Comment by AllenSmoma — April 20, 2018 @ 6:23 pm

  17. becoming a viagra sell man
    generic viagra 100mg
    beyond viagra
    viagra pills

    Comment by Philliperype — April 20, 2018 @ 8:19 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.


blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez


Powered by WordPress