Home
Advice

Comics

Animation

Goodies

Big To Do
MORE...
About Us

Archive
“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

March 5, 2013

I don’t feel like ripping his clothes off

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:16 am

Something missing on December 7, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I hate to need your help — but I can’t admit this to my friends, and I’m beginning to struggle. Okay.

My boyfriend is perfect.

And I don’t care.

Well, it’s not that I don’t care — I do! I think he’s the best! It’s been almost three months (and you’d be so proud, we’ve been going oh-so-slow. I’m 32, he’s 39 and we’ve both been burned before, so there is a certain degree of caution on both sides), and we really *like* each other. And I don’t mean in the like as opposed to love sense, but in the genuine affection sense. It’s kind of scary. This could actually happen, for real, BG. This could *work.*

We’re both really busy at work, so we only see each other on the weekend, but then our dates last for like, ten hours! We talk, we hang out, we go hiking and biking — it’s great. And he *talks* to me! And actually listens, too! And he thinks the same and he’s funny and he works really hard and he loves his dog. And he thinks the absolute world of me.

But.

But I don’t feel like ripping his clothes off. He’s cute, too! And when I close my eyes and he kisses me (and one evening when we’d both had a teensy too much to drink and were silly . . . that was pretty good) … Oh, BG, I’m just a mess. He’s handed me his ego on a silver platter, and I am terrified of hurting him. And I just feel like he deserves *more*. Like a woman that wants to rip his clothes off, maybe.

This is a really good guy, BG. REALLY GOOD. The kind I want to marry. But I don’t know if I can live without that crazy passion, at least every once in a while. Not all the time, but every once in a while, shouldn’t your significant other make you all hot and bothered? Am I asking too much? EVERYTHING else is there, BG. Everything.

Sorry I’m so disjointed and inarticulate, but I’m trying not to edit and hoping you can make sense of it. I really need a clear head and a sense of perspective.

All hail BG.
–Lu


Dear Lu,

First of all, three months is not very long, especially if you see each other only on weekends. At this time, I would note your feelings and file them away under “IMPORTANT.” Pull the file in a couple months. If the data is still accurate, consider it along with the following annotations, offered by a wise friend of mine who, several years ago, was in your exact boat — that is, one drifting in lukewarm water.

Here’s what she says: “Oy, vey. I married my best friend and found, two and a half years later, that I couldn’t live without the romance that I initially thought wasn’t important. What a mess.

Basically, all I can say is these two things:

1. Don’t sell yourself short. If you’re already saying “Oh, I can live without….” — you can’t.

2. If you’re not feeling it, I think that means he’s not connecting with you on some level. It’s not just chemical — there’s a willingness to open yourself and be vulnerable/powerful that leads to passion. He may seem to be open and honest, but he may not even know that he’s closed off in that way. It may be possible for someone to break through it, I think — but I couldn’t.”

In other words, the physical zing is not entirely separate from the emotional zang. And it’s okay to be bothered if the hot’s not there. So again, give yourself a little longer to wait out your caution, focus on what is there — and see how it grows, where it goes. If things stay the same, yes, you may need to file him away under “SOOOOO CLOSE.”

Love,
Breakup Girl

1 Comment »

  1. hoverboard nike shoes

    Comment by hoverboard nike shoes — May 30, 2016 @ 11:55 pm

  2. That is a really good tip particularly to those fresh to the blogosphere. Simple but very precise information¡­ Thanks for sharing this one. A must read post!

    Comment by oakley holbrook polarised nz — May 31, 2016 @ 12:06 am

  3. hoverboard video bloopers

    Comment by hoverboard video explosion — May 31, 2016 @ 12:07 am

  4. goped hoverboard charger

    Comment by goped hoverboard charger — May 31, 2016 @ 12:25 am

  5. Interessante Page. Das Design und die nuetzlichen Informationen gefallen mir besonders gut.|
    [url=http://www.fh-master-wirtschaft.ch/cms2/typo3temp/locks/?6jqgag5F]nike free run 2 dame nike air free run[/url]

    Comment by nike free run 2 dame nike air free run — May 31, 2016 @ 12:36 am

  6. hoverboard repair oakland zoo

    Comment by hoverboard repair shop atlanta — May 31, 2016 @ 12:55 am

  7. hoverboard led lights ebay

    Comment by hoverboard led bluetooth — May 31, 2016 @ 1:02 am

  8. new hoverboard real

    Comment by new hoverboard real — May 31, 2016 @ 1:10 am

  9. You can certainly see your enthusiasm within the work you write. The arena hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to mention how they believe. At all times go after your heart.

    Comment by Mujer - Zapatillas PUMA Sky Wedge Opulence Negro — May 31, 2016 @ 1:15 am

  10. Hello would you mind stating which blog platform you’re using? I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m having a hard time selecting between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design and style seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something unique. P.S Sorry for being off-topic but I had to ask!

    Comment by Occhiali da Sole Ray-Ban RB4147 Uomo Multicolore Marrone Outlet S2749 — May 31, 2016 @ 1:26 am

  11. hoverboard for sale china

    Comment by hoverboard for sale amazon — May 31, 2016 @ 1:30 am

  12. Breakup Girl » I don’t feel like ripping his clothes off
    aprzmfhdrdr
    [url=http://www.gfof6g6qo0781d93a4z43tah004ecl67s.org/]uprzmfhdrdr[/url]
    przmfhdrdr http://www.gfof6g6qo0781d93a4z43tah004ecl67s.org/

    Comment by przmfhdrdr — May 31, 2016 @ 1:43 am

  13. hoverboard brands with bluetooth

    Comment by hoverboard brands not to buy — May 31, 2016 @ 1:48 am

  14. hoverboard new law january 1st quarter

    Comment by hoverboard new laws il — May 31, 2016 @ 2:01 am

  15. Heya i am for the first time here. I found this board and I in finding It really useful & it helped me out much. I’m hoping to provide one thing again and aid others such as you aided me.|
    nike free 5.0 kids nike free 5.0 women

    Comment by nike free 5.0 kids nike free 5.0 women — May 31, 2016 @ 2:45 am

  16. It’s remarkable to pay a visit this site and reading the views of all colleagues on the topic of this article, while I am also keen of getting know-how.|
    nike free flyknit 5.0 nike free run women

    Comment by nike free flyknit 5.0 nike free run women — May 31, 2016 @ 3:08 am

  17. hoverboard xl ebay new

    Comment by hoverboard xl weight limit vine — May 31, 2016 @ 3:13 am

  18. hoverboard and samsung battery 80

    Comment by hoverboard and samsung battery 80 — May 31, 2016 @ 3:20 am

  19. new hoverboard real or fake breasts

    Comment by new hoverboard real or fake breasts — May 31, 2016 @ 3:33 am

  20. hoverboard tricks how to

    Comment by hoverboard tricks for beginners — May 31, 2016 @ 3:43 am

  21. hoverboard in real life price

    Comment by hoverboard in real life — May 31, 2016 @ 4:14 am

  22. hoverboard 700 watt netzteil

    Comment by hoverboard 700 watt netzteil — May 31, 2016 @ 4:16 am

  23. hoverboard battery fire

    Comment by hoverboard battery mah — May 31, 2016 @ 4:24 am

  24. hoverboard 2 wheel australia

    Comment by hoverboard 2 wheel luggage — May 31, 2016 @ 4:32 am

  25. Hi there Dear, are you really visiting this website regularly, if so afterward you will without doubt get pleasant knowledge.|
    nike free flyknit 4.0 nike free run 4

    Comment by nike free flyknit 4.0 nike free run 4 — May 31, 2016 @ 4:34 am

  26. hoverboard new law in florida snopes

    Comment by hoverboard new law kiss — May 31, 2016 @ 4:43 am

  27. hoverboard lights not working

    Comment by hoverboard lights up — May 31, 2016 @ 5:03 am

  28. hoverboard x2

    Comment by hoverboard x2 review — May 31, 2016 @ 5:41 am

  29. hoverboard 2016 rules

    Comment by hoverboard 2016 rules — May 31, 2016 @ 5:46 am

  30. hoverboard cheap aliexpress

    Comment by hoverboard cheap segway — May 31, 2016 @ 5:53 am

  31. hoverboard black friday sale 2016

    Comment by hoverboard black with lights — May 31, 2016 @ 6:05 am

  32. hoverboard expensive

    Comment by hoverboard fails — May 31, 2016 @ 6:29 am

  33. hoverboard 6.5 vs 8 inch jointer

    Comment by hoverboard 6.5 inch mobile — May 31, 2016 @ 7:00 am

  34. hoverboard repair memphis tn

    Comment by hoverboard repair memphis tn — May 31, 2016 @ 7:29 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.

[breakupgirl.net]

blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez

MORE COMICS...

Powered by WordPress