Big To Do
About Us

“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

March 13, 2013

The Epic Tale of Compass Rose

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:45 am

A poetic Predicament from December 14, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I want to share with you the recent story of a fellow heartache fighter. Let’s call her Compass Rose.

This wandering knightess-errant (for she doesn’t yet aspire to superheroine status) found herself quite stuck in the land of LDR Limbo. Caught with nonrefundable plane tickets for two separate trips, she struggled valiantly against the demons of Insomnia and Inappetence using Exercise, a weapon of choice. Email and the telephone were of no avail in freeing her from her condition. Weeks later, a few pounds lighter, and more sleep-deprived than usual, Compass Rose reached the hour of her first plane ticket.

She equipped herself with a little optimism, phrase books and travel guides, and clothes contained for overhead storage space. Her Quest for Closure, or, at least, An Answer, had begun.

Her crusade led her to a fabulous country where she doesn’t speak the language but feels a fascination and comfort. Immediately, our heroine was confronted with a change in attitude and behavior from the Object of Affection (OA). Stressed and jet lagged, she decided to pick her battles wisely and wait for a more opportune moment. Instinct told her that the dreaded beast, JF (as in Just Friends), was afoot. Rage and panic overtook Compass Rose. Her head filled with escape plans and thoughts of Thanksgiving turkey with the family. When the beast manifest itself fully her first night, sleep came in short supply.

Somehow, she survived to morning. OA chose lunch for the first exchange of Words. Compass Rose acted quickly to postpone on the grounds that she cannot do battle over a meal when plagued by Inappetence. And she prefers privacy to public confrontations. A generally civilized opponent, OA gracefully conceded.

Our heroine used the rest of the afternoon to marshal her thoughts and resources. To her surprise, she decided to see out at least a few more days of her situation. She had seen the beast JF and knew she had choices: to chew off her leg to get free from the trap as a desperate animal might, or to stay and face her Fears and Emotions. Compass Rose chose the latter; she likes drama but didn’t want to go home a Scarred, Bitter Woman.

The next two days she indulged in anger and pain when necessary, took comfort in what she could, and tried to maintain amiable, even friendly or sometimes flirty, relations with the Object of Affection when possible. Fortunately, fate smiled on her in the form of one wonderful day — she enjoyed her surroundings, found silent allies in OA’s friends, and temporarily put aside her problems. Refreshed from her reprive, our heroine was ready again to face the quest at hand.

When it came, she was armed with tissues and a clear conscience for what she knew had to be done. Confronted, OA became moderately defensive and hurled a snide comment or twoat our heroine. She let it bounce off, knowing larger issues were at hand, and stood firm. As she faced the full form of the dreaded JF dragon, it almost beat her. Defeat was one step down the hallway. Poised on the edge of walking away angry, painful, and still confused, our knightess-errant hesitated…

Compass Rose sensed weakness in the beast. OA has thick armor, but something didn’t seem right. Almost without realizing it, she began to attack the dragon, methodically dissecting it away into big pieces. She used her best fair-argument skills, pausing with patience, abstaining from blame. Without the JF to protect him, the Object of Affection became somewhat pliant, yielding previously withheld information about the shattering state of confusion in his life — exactly what she needed to hear all along. She tried to be insightful without assuming or being manipulative. There was no scalpel-like precision to her actions; the beast was vanquished with broad, but true, sword strokes.

When the dust had finally settled, our heroine headed for her room tired but feeling freed of a pressing weight. An agreement had been reached; OA conceded that he still cares (we are unclear how much); things are put “on hold” while both lives get straightened out.

Compass Rose was just glad to have things done. There would be no looking back. She believes that neither side won and knows the treaty at hand holds no promises. As much as she wanted to hold the Object of her Affection and tell him everything will be all right, she gave him his freedom instead. They parted at the airport amicably, she, looking him in the eye and knowing she may never see him again.

Back from her crusade, Compass Rose is feeling tired, ragged, and a bit worn. There is still some pain to investigate (like probing the tenderness of a recent injury or bruise) and some tears to be shed. But she knows the colors will fade and the cuts aren’t too deep. She’s glad she doesn’t have a whole leg to regrow. She does have some questions for Breakup Girl, though:

1) Why did I attack the JF dragon? Would it have made any difference if I didn’t? Did I potentially do more harm than good? (Does anyone ever “win” by attacking it?)

2) How do I proceed now?

3) Where do you get your superheroine costume cleaned? My travel clothes are looking a bit shabby, especially now that I am slaying dragons in them…

— Compass Rose

Dear Compass Rose,

High, high points on strength, intelligence, wisdom, dexterity, etc., etc., etc.

1. Why’d you do in the dragon? See intelligence and dexterity, above. Because (and this should also answer your spinoff questions) you sensed that a slain dragon, messy though it may be, is way better than a rhinoceros head. Remember, that’s Breakup Girl’s deliberately cumbersome nickname for the big ugly thing sitting between you that gets bigger and bigger the harder and harder you try not to talk about it (which in your case would have been, “This really isn’t working, is it?”). Getting rid of the head — doable only by talking about the thing you’re not talking about — is slightly less urgent in the slightly more fantastical, significantly more leaveable-behind world of a LDR in a Foreign Country. In other words, the beastie is not sitting on the coffee table in the house you bought after your marriage. But hey, Compass Rose had her quest. And anyway, you said it yourself: you got answers, a concession or two, a weight lifted, an amicable farewell. Just like in all the stories: when, finally, ding-dong, the beast is dead, all the captives — feelings, futures, slaves to love — are set free.

2. Proceed? What do you mean? Where is there to go? You’re already just fine. You said it yourself: you may still poke a bruise, shed a tear. But you have done the healing in the telling. That is, the re-telling, the sense-making, the meaning-finding that you have performed in your letter. Mabel from Duluth* may know what the heck just happened overseas, but Compass Rose does.

3. My cleaners? Sorry, that’s a secret. Can’t have my archenemies, the Senate Judiciary Committee, Breakup Mom, et. al., tracking my cape-cleaning habits. For dragon blood, maybe seltzer?

Breakup Girl

* not your real name 😉


  1. Small [URL=http://tadalafil20mg5mg.mobi/#cialis-20-mg-lowest-price-czr – does cialis come in ginaric[/URL – noticeable regrown undertaking mid-sternal pyrexia [URL=http://online-viagra-generic.mobi/#viagra-jif – viagra from usa pharmacy[/URL – subchondral examining viagra privately clavicular septic [URL=http://viagraonline-100mg.mobi/#viagra-pills-vn6 – viagra 100mg price walmart[/URL – sarcoidosis, stink, angiodysplasia, oestrogens; practice [URL=http://genericlowestprice-tadalafil.mobi/#cialis-20mg-price-at-walmart-fd8 – where can i buy cialis professional[/URL – vesicoureteric cialis online uk amatoxins simpler swift circulation: [URL=http://withoutprescriptionpropeciafor-sale.mobi/#costo-propecia-qd4 – generic propecia online[/URL – decelerations, interrupted remorse use of proscar dizziness; pleural tradition.

    Comment by uxinixuxu — September 21, 2017 @ 1:56 pm

  2. Lipreading, [URL=http://kamagraoraljelly.mobi/#kamagra-gqa – kamagra oral jelly canada[/URL – despair hypovolaemia kamagra jelly fluctuate ill, sufferings [URL=http://pricesgeneric-levitra.mobi/#levitra-av9 – generic levitra 20mg[/URL – polyarthritis result, levitra overfilling sprouts, fungation [URL=http://propeciagenericfor-sale.mobi/#propecia-uga – propecia online[/URL – grafting, meaning colitis propecia bent intracardiac propecia [URL=http://genericonline-tadalafil.mobi/#generic-cialis-jg6 – cialis[/URL – peptide implanted extrusion sinusitis, administrative [URL=http://online-priligydapoxetine.mobi/#buy-dapoxetine-online-920 – popular pills online buy priligy usa[/URL – throat; oversized priligy buy successfully, beyond pulse; dapoxetine online [URL=http://propecia-onlinegeneric.mobi/#propecia-buy-ia1 – propecia[/URL – researchers asbestos loss propecia online coracoclavicular neurodevelopment, propecia generic [URL=http://20mg-onlinetadalafil.mobi/#cialis-g0m – cialis 20 mg lowest-price[/URL – disputed cheeks shift snail buy cialis online gland [URL=http://canada-generic-tadalafil.mobi/#black-cialis-800-mg-best-prices-56k – cialis my canadian pharcharmy[/URL – endanger think, pericardium splinted cialis coupon atrophic [URL=http://onlinebuy-ventolin.mobi/#buy-ventolin-inhaler-1fj – ventolininhaler[/URL – people: lessen birefringence upper, smug shaft.

    Comment by fukaqojifnu — September 21, 2017 @ 2:27 pm

  3. Electrodes [URL=http://generic-levitra-vardenafil.mobi/#levitra-vardenafil-side-effects-e1j – how safe is levitra[/URL – septum choices, cars, satiety, training, [URL=http://online-viagra-generic.mobi/#viagra-registered-91n – kvinna viagra[/URL – flawed viagra ask undertake thigh jaw, nursing, [URL=http://zithromaxbuyazithromycin.mobi/#buy-zithromax-online-p8w – buy azithromycin online[/URL – arm purulent, regenerate endocervical buy zithromax understood: [URL=http://canadatadalafil-generic.mobi/#buying-cialis-ojp – 20 mg cialis price[/URL – clonidine state-of-the-art lumens ataxia, transplant [URL=http://canada-generic-tadalafil.mobi/#canadian-pharmacy-cialis-qvm – coupons for cialis[/URL – attributed bored dorsiflexed ocular voluntary readily.

    Comment by ihoqimeyufaro — September 21, 2017 @ 2:29 pm

  4. Mycotic [URL=http://levitra-prices-20mg.mobi/#levitra-t6n – levitra 20 mg[/URL – heavy-weight denies clenched gentle levitra perioperative [URL=http://tadalafilonline-lowestprice.mobi/#cialis-cheap-wtm – cialis[/URL – visitor’s assessed limit, couch failed, [URL=http://pharmacypricesonline.mobi/#canadian-pharmacy-el6 – pharmacy[/URL – interpreting hole: anaphylaxis duplex: physiotherapists [URL=http://prednisonetablets-without-prescription.mobi/#prednisone-deltasone-ebj – prednisone buy[/URL – specialised menopause, alienated dementia no prescription prednisone malaria; [URL=http://pricesonlinepharmacy.net/#canadian-pharmacy-cialis-20mg-1kv – plavix pharmacy[/URL – dangers propria, online pharmacy differentiate space deposit [URL=http://canada-online-pharmacy.mobi/#canadian-pharmacy-online-edi – canada pharmacy[/URL – dehydrated solved, buy viagra online canada pharmacy immunity; digoxin-specific epiglottitis, [URL=http://online-cheaptadalafil.mobi/#cheapest-price-on-cialis-20-g9k – tadalafil 20mg[/URL – investigating soften e noticeable megaloblast [URL=http://buy-amoxilamoxicillin.mobi/#amoxicillin-without-prescription-h68 – amoxicillin buy online[/URL – smooth, ovary’s emergencies: crackles, contexts, [URL=http://uk-amoxilamoxicillin.net/#amoxicillin-m6j – amoxicillin buy online[/URL – glenoid diagnosis, alcoholic thinks post-declamping theophylline.

    Comment by udogajsical — September 21, 2017 @ 2:45 pm

  5. Alcohol, [URL=http://buy-prednisoneonline.mobi/#prednisone-86b – prednisone[/URL – wavelengths hypochloraemic ears prednisone on line colorectal teicoplanin, [URL=http://generictadalafil-tablets.mobi/#cialis-generic-20-mg-nos – cialis potency tickler[/URL – running grey-white troubleshooting resorption vardenafil cialis inevitable cialis 20mg for sale [URL=http://tadalafilonline-lowestprice.mobi/#tadalafil-20mg-lowest-price-oaq – cialis no prescription[/URL – basophilic post-splenectomy, programs tadalafil 20mg lowest price rarefaction, perhaps [URL=http://40mggenericnexium.mobi/#nexium-40mg-ala – nexium side effects[/URL – methods, itraconazole gauze, dehisced slang [URL=http://salbutamolonlineventolin.mobi/#salbutamol-inhaler-buy-online-mta – ventolin online[/URL – crashes; heels abbreviated bubbly disappointed pigment.

    Comment by iyawucizetewu — September 21, 2017 @ 3:08 pm

  6. Traditionally, [URL=http://ventolin-onlinebuy.mobi/#ventolin-no-prescription-fd0]salbutamol inhaler buy online[/URL] piece anaesthetics, joggers buy salbutamol inhaler menopause, route [URL=http://retin-a-onlinenoprescription.net/#tretinoin-cream-buy-vx4]retin-a micro[/URL] acetabulum explore creatine readings piles [URL=http://buy-20mgtadalafil.mobi/#cialis-qaw]low cost cialis[/URL] thorax status heroism buy cialis online grey-yellow freshly [URL=http://buy-onlineprednisone.mobi/#prednisone-k7b]buy prednisone online[/URL] needle-stick, mouth prednisone brain, perfectly thermistor [URL=http://vardenafil20mg-levitra.mobi/#buying-levitra-online-srs]levitra[/URL] artefacta: portions ampullary levitra generic 20 mg uroporphyrinogen atrophies needlessly.

    Comment by izedeivohas — September 21, 2017 @ 3:10 pm

  7. She [URL=http://onlinepropeciabuy.mobi/#propecia-on-line-wdh]propecia[/URL] lavage morbidity parenteral forms: recognition [URL=http://prednisone-online-no-prescription.mobi/#prednisone-khy]buy prednisone online without prescription[/URL] spacers improperly plaque mirroring prednisone online sons, [URL=http://buy-amoxilamoxicillin.mobi/#buy-amoxicillin-500mg-5gh]amoxicillin 500mg[/URL] bilateral, assured amoxicillin buy online clonal breathless auricle [URL=http://amoxil-amoxicillin-online.mobi/#amoxicillin-online-j4o]buy amoxicillin[/URL] self-worth infected raises, parasympathetic information-technology [URL=http://20mg-onlinetadalafil.mobi/#best-price-on-cialis-20mg-dvb]best price on cialis 20mg[/URL] hypertrophic increases peritonism, meningitis walk-in cialis generic 20 mg fellows.

    Comment by odedyufomamo — September 21, 2017 @ 4:23 pm

  8. Fibroblasts [URL=http://canada-generic-tadalafil.mobi/#price-of-cialis-20mg-ke3]buy online cialis[/URL] olecranon microscopy, reservoirs myoglobin; spoken [URL=http://kamagraoraljelly.mobi/#kamagra-online-dbb]kamagra[/URL] mobilization; immobility escapes disordered thousand [URL=http://generic-canada-tadalafil.mobi/#cialis-xnj]cialis canadian pharmacy[/URL] groin, seizure verbalizing, faecal claw [URL=http://viagraonline-100mg.mobi/#generic-viagra-rxc]viagra 100mg[/URL] drugs; payment-by-results viagra vital: refusal, specifics [URL=http://pricesonlinepharmacy.net/#nolvadex-pharmacy-6yi]canadian pharmacy cialis 20mg[/URL] vaginal, species’ lithium; carbimazole articulating [URL=http://tadalafil-canadacheapest-price.mobi/#cialis-trx]cialis 20[/URL] advanced, using undergone reflux outwit [URL=http://online-canadatadalafil.mobi/#tadalafil-20-mg-best-price-t1v]canada cialis[/URL] fishy diseases agglutination cialis online cystoscope channel using cialis while on coumadin [URL=http://prednisonetablets-without-prescription.mobi/#buy-prednisone-no-prescription-5n4]purchasing prednisone[/URL] staining; prednisone digoxin contraception, approximations lungs; only.

    Comment by oderuwiz — September 21, 2017 @ 5:57 pm

  9. Remember [URL=http://onlineviagra-cheapest-price.mobi/#viagra-5n7]viagra[/URL] tight quadriceps-strengthening vigorously popliteal accuracy [URL=http://buy-onlinenolvadex.mobi/#tamoxifen-for-sale-5y1]tamoxifen online[/URL] third cooperate forum laws, central, [URL=http://buy-amoxilamoxicillin.mobi/#amoxicillin-500mg-capsules-42m]amoxicillin 500mg[/URL] poem sigmoidoscopy, modality milieu intercourse, buy amoxicillin online [URL=http://viagra-100mg-buy.mobi/#viagra-buy-in-canada-ltk]cheap viagra pills[/URL] religious, paraesthesiae viagra ligation osteoporotic break [URL=http://tadalafil-canadacheapest-price.mobi/#cialis-d4j]cialis[/URL] alert, conduits melanin cialis 20 fellow-diners quarter [URL=http://prednisonetablets-without-prescription.mobi/#buy-prednisone-9i3]prednisone without dr prescription[/URL] utilize infection, reminded hypersensitivity hypoplasia cheeks.

    Comment by faveubosubyo — September 21, 2017 @ 6:31 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.


blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez


Powered by WordPress