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April 2, 2013

Married Boss – what could go wrong?

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:40 am

Double trouble on December 14, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

My boss and I have this incredible chemistry between us. We get along so well, and he has many of the qualities I would look for in a man. However he is married (and my boss!). Lately, he makes a lot of comments about me, like jokingly, but like he is trying to see how I feel about him. Recently, he invited me out for Happy Hour Friday after work and told me that he’d like to spend more time with me, but can’t ask me to do things because his wife is jealous of me. (And I met his wife only once!) We haven’t spoken of any related issues since that night. He also said that night at the bar, that if he weren’t my boss and weren’t married he would like to get involved with me. But it’s almost as if he said that to see if I would accept those conditions, almost proposing an affair to me (my gut level feeling). I told him, “in some other dimension” we could get involved but not like this. We haven’t spoken about that night/conversation since then, but he constantly talks to me at work and I catch him looking at me often. I know the right thing to do is to NOT get involved, yet we are so attracted to one another. HELP!

— Meg


Dear Meg,

Three words: DON’T GO THERE. Fourth dimension? Not even there.

Attraction? Fine. Doesn’t mean you need to act on it. Two words: window shopping.

Incredible chemistry with your boss? Great. Then you’ll be an excellent employee. Right?

But if the chem has crossed the line from inspiration to distraction, then one word: transfer.

For a situation this complicated, it really is that simple.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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