“Saving Love Lives The World Over!”
e-mail to a friend in need
February 14, 2013
Some people’s Super Bowl is the Oscars. Some people’s Super Bowl is the Super Bowl. My Super Bowl is Valentine’s Day. And it’s not that different, really: The event has been taken over by commercials; You put in about four hours for 11 minutes of action; and 50% of the people come away disappointed.
Now, before I fly off to ref a lot of play, I wanted to leave you with a roundup of V-Day content that can be found on BreakupGirl.net. Think of it like those Super Bowl commercials; While you’re waiting to find out if you’ve won or lost, it’s nice to have a few laughs.
April 23, 2012
The Predicament of the Week from October 12, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
Could you please give me advice on permanently removing a leech from my bruised skin?
I’m a 33 year-old, good looking, stable, professional, financially-secure, in-shape, blah, blah, blah, GWM. But I’m totally inexperienced in relationships. Last December I got together for coffee with a guy from the personals without a detailed telephone screening in advance (never do that — if he doesn’t have time to talk on the phone and says “let’s just meet,” run away!). He turned out to be really cute and masculine-looking, but with no job and living with a friend. So I knew that a relationship was out, but it was Friday night and I had no plans so I took him home. The sex was great. He was fun to be with. A week later he had a job so I decided to date him figuring he’d quickly find a place to live and all would be OK.
But then, I introduced him to an experienced friend who the next day told me “This guy’s stupid, shallow, a user and a manipulator. You are fated to get totally involved with him and destroy your life. Mark my words and don’t come looking for help later.”
February 15, 2012
The most heart-warming — and geekiest — internet proposal yesterday had to be the mashable employee who proposed to his girlfriend via infographic. If you loved that story like we did, check out DVICE’s rundown of 5 nerdy ways geeks are popping the question as well as their earlier Top 10 geeky proposals of 2011.
February 13, 2012
If you’ve got something to say this VDay, don’t sugarcoat it — use our no-calorie Valentine’s salutations instead: Personalize your own candy heart or send one of our Valentine’s eCards.
January 9, 2012
Dear Breakup Girl,
Okay, Breakup Girl, this is my first letter asking advice EVER to anyone about all of this, so… well, I hope you have time to read a long one. If not, toss me.
I’m a 17 year old guy. I’m too skinny, I’ve got acne, but I’m a great friend with an irresistible sense of humor (or so I’ve been told). Oh, and I’ve had a stellar love life, absolutely wonderful! NOT. My last relationship crashed and burned. On the SIX MONTH ANNIVERSARY, to the day, because things weren’t going anywhere and we were getting frustrated with each other. And the three girlfriends I had before that ended when (in chronological order):
1) She lied to me about loving someone else, thus being unable to continue going out with me. (Fortunately, we had only been going out for, oh, 4 hours, just long enough for her to realize I had never had a girlfriend before and had no idea she was coming on to me. This one later turned psycho-slutty, having sex with anything that breathed, including ME, offering phone and oral sex with me as late as a year after. She also tried to break my best friend and his girlfriend up… sick-o.)
2) She went out with me for six days, kissed me, then refused to talk to me — forever. No reason at all, except one I heard that went through three people that went, “She gets bored with guys quickly.” Ne’er heard word from her since.
3) She left. I fell for a girl on the second to last day of a summer camp. She lives about 120 miles away part-time (and over 400 the other part) because of her split parents. Saddest thing about this one was that it was the best time out of all four girlfriends I’ve had… I haven’t heard from her since, and my letters don’t come back with “Address unknown” or anything on them.
July 22, 2011
The IRL deal of July 6, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
I’d first like to know what you think of “long-distance” relationships… how often they work out, or if they should be avoided….and secondly, what you think of “long-distance Internet” relationships.
Let me explain my situation a little bit….
I got online a little over a year ago, and shortly after doing so, I met this really funny guy in a chat room that I enjoyed talking to. It didn’t take long for us to become really good friends. We talked alot over a period of about 5-6 months before we both realized that our feelings for each other were growing into the next stages after friendship. I started falling in love with him!! We had exchanged many, many photos of each other, and started talking on the telephone a bit. We talked very regularly and frequently for the next 6 months or so… making it known to the world of our love for each other through web pages, and silly stuff like that. He made me so happy! We were “cyber-engaged,” and most of the things like talking about having an “online wedding,” being engaged, and being together forever were HIS ideas!!! I really loved them, too…and the more he told people how much he loved me and wanted to be with me, the more in love I fell with him! After over a year of talking/chatting, and getting to know each others minds and souls, we agreed it should progress to the next step of actually meeting each other! The biggest problem was that he is on the western coast of the US, and I am on the eastern coast! But he finally got a plane ticket to come see me… and after having this ticket in his possesion for weeks, and only a month and a half away from the day we would meet, (on Valentine’s Day no less!!), he broke up with me!!! I am absolutely devastated, and am having a hard time dealing with what I feel.
His excuses were that:
1.)We are too far apart, and long distance relationships don’t work. He thought it was best to end it now before he hurt me anymore!
2.) I am ten years older than him, and have a child… which is nothing new, he knew that a year ago when we met!
3.) That he is just starting his life, and won’t be able to pay me the attention I deserve because he’ll be too busy…. and that wouldn’t be fair to me…
4.) That he thinks I’m a psychotic looney because I shared the fact that stress and my over active emotions make me sick to my stomach when I’m upset! He says that isn’t normal, and I must be psychotic! But the fact is, I don’t handle rejection very well, and I am a very emotional person. (Something else he’s known for the past year!!)
5.) I am too jealous, and he thinks I am “obsessed” with him and not in love with him.
The fact is I AM in love with him!! I don’t want to lose him because he thinks it “might not” work out in the future because we are so far away… he is young, scared, confused, and allowing outside influences to tear us apart. He could be throwing away the best thing to ever happen to both of us!! I really need some help and/or advice… He says it’s best it’s over, but I can’t let go!!! All I want is for us to be like we were, and for him to come see me in a month and a half! I at least want the opportunity, and the chance to see if the sparks fly like I have been dreaming they will!!
Can you help me?
Oh, dear. I hate to run down the battery on your dreams, but — brace yourself — it just doesn’t sound to Breakup Girl like this is a happening thing. I am really, really, really sorry.
I am not saying that long distance relationships don’t work, nor that cyberrelationships don’t work. But let me try and put this situation in perspective:
People who have actually laid eyes on each other and spent time together have trouble mustering the chutzpah to make an actual commitment. Never mind having to make good on a promise that — though, yes, it was very real for you — technically existed only in the ether, not IRL. And you know, there are some things that do make sense/exist only out there in cyberworld; how long would Jennicam last if the idea was for people to actually look in her window? Also, the “outside influences” you dismiss as trivial are <gulp> real-life; in fact, they — distance, phase-of-life difference, etc. — are problems that non-cyber couples face. He got the willies when he realized that he was going to have to face them. And for whatever reason, he is not willing.
Also, on a totally different point, some of the things he said to you were not very nice.
Now, I’m not going to say anything dumbass, preachy, and too-late like, “You shouldn’t have fallen so hard in the first place.” You did, and I’m sure you felt feelings — finite though they may need be — that others have indeed only dreamt of. So go ahead and save — treasure — your emails and other cyber-keepsakes. If it hurts too much, hide them for a while. BUT. You should also, when you’re ready, take this as an opportunity to consider, for yourself, exactly what drove you to fall so hard, to make such earthbound plans with someone orbiting in cyberspace. I am not saying “Bad Girl, you messed up, now go think about what you did!” I am saying if you want a real-life partner that badly — no matter where you meet him — well, some reflection into this episode will give you useful insight into the next one. Which , ultimately, is not a bad use of all that bandwith.
Hang in there.
May 24, 2011
Still suspicious on July 6, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
All right, here’s the dilly: I’ve been with my girlfriend for nigh 3 years now. Recently, we both went through major upheavels in our lives, during which we fought & came close to ending things. During that time, she started seeing another guy. I found out because I came over for Valentine’s Day and he sent her flowers saying they had started something beautiful. Anyway, I freaked, and she told me that they had just gone on a couple of dates, nothing serious. From V-Day until recently, I had always been suspicious she was still seeing him, but whenever I asked, she told me she wasn’t and that I was being paranoid. Which, I believed, because she never lies, even when it’s the easy thing. One time I tried snooping but was caught so the only thing I accomplished was ruining her trust.
Last week, one of her good friends (who isn’t the smartest person) told me (she doesn’t know it though) that I was correct. She was seeing this guy, slept with him, etc. and lied to me when I asked. Another friend of hers told me that they did have something for a while, but it was over and that she digs me again and is head over heels. So what do I do? I don’t want to ruin my gf’s friendship on account of her friend being an airhead. At the same time, I “triumphed” over the other guy, because now everything between us is wonderful. Is there a reason to bring up these past issues? On the other hand, she lied when I confronted her and made it look like I was the person that was wrong, and she managed to make me believe it. What’s to say it won’t happen again? I don’t want to be in a relationship where I can’t trust her when we aren’t getting along.
Should I leave well enough alone or do I dig until I get the truth at the probable expense of the relationship between us and between her friends?
April 28, 2011
A really long one from June 22, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
I cannot believe that I am writing to you, but I am. So here goes. This letter will undoubtedly be long for many reasons. I talk/write a lot and there are so many things to explain concerning my present relationship.
Background info: I’m 27, a licensed attorney, have a kitty cat that I adore, and up until 7 months ago enjoyed a relatively stable and good life. In November 1997 Jonathan entered my life. On that first day, he told me that he was involved in a relationship with a woman who was in the hospital as she’d had their child only two days before. He also told me that he had 3 other children, all by different women. One of his children, his six-year-old daughter was with him as we talked. In November, BG, I had just relocated to the city where I attended college and where my best friend (Latisha) lived. We were, quite frankly, painting the town red and every other passionate color known. In short, we were living the life of two, very attractive, financially and emotionally (or so we thought) independent divas.
So, when Jonathan approached me and asked to take me out that night, my conscience was lost in the wind. I agreed. He asked if I had a problem with the fact that he had a live-in girlfriend and a new-born baby. I truthfully answered (knowing that he would be another notch on my belt) said, “Not a problem.” He called me that night. I didn’t feel up to going out. He came over. We talked. We danced. We kissed. We had sex. (I know, I know…the shame, the shame). In fact the only thing I am proud of is that I did use a condom. He stayed the night. After all, Linda (live in GF) was in the hospital. Much, much more after the jump!
February 16, 2011
We held off on this one, since we figured not that many first dates were happening on Valentine’s Day. But now here we go. OKCupid, always ready with the best questions for blog posts, asks, what are the best questions for first dates? Actually, they put it a much better way: “What questions are easy to bring up, yet correlate to the deeper, unspeakable, issues people actually care about?” Yes! Easy and deep-y. And did we mention easy? See, because what you don’t want — as with first “lines” — is something gimmicky, interviewy, or otherwise annoyingy. (”So, tell me, Sam. [Leans closer, significantly.] Would you rather be a cloud, or a grape?”) What you want, OKCupid determines, with the use of several handy bar graphs, is “the shallow stuff to ask when you want to know something deep.”
OK SO LIKE WHAT? Well, then we get into some frankly fascinating correlations (derived from their vast database and some fancy math). If you want to know if you two have long-term potential, ask if he/she likes horror movies, or would like to chuck it all and live on a sailboat. Couples who agreed on such Qs were correlated with couples who lasted. If you want to know if your date is religious, ask if she/he is annoyed by spelling and grammar mistakes; “If your date answers ‘no’—i.e. is okay with bad grammar and spelling—the odds of him or her being at least moderately religious is slightly better than 2:1.” Hooray for teh tolerance! Want to know if you have the same politics? Ask if your date prefers the people in his/her life to be simple or complex. The latter preference is correlated with liberal politics. JUST SAYING. (Also: clouds and grapes CAN get along!)
Read the whole piece for great fun and info, plus Kevin Costner in fingerless gloves. (The apocalypse kind, not the golf kind.)
AND: Since you’re going to need to get to that first date in the first place, here is BG’s definitive guide to opening lines.
February 14, 2011
Next Page »
Breakup Girl isn’t exactly boycotting Valentine’s Day. No, she’s personcotting the holiday. Now, this has nothing to do with the fact that she’s alone this year. She just thinks: Why can’t couples treat every day like Valentine’s Day? Spread the love! To that end, here is some stuff from BreakupGirl.net to help celebrate this Monday — and the other 364 days:
is the superhero whose domain is LOVE or the lack thereof!
Her blog combines new comics, observations and dating news with
classic advice letters--now blogified for reader feedback!