Getting extra-marital on October 12, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
I recently got married. I love my husband a lot, but I still feel a need to go out alone, without him, with some of my friends. Well, in particular, with one friend, who happens to be a man (a very gay man). I don’t like to bring my husband along when I go out with my friend, because my friend and I are very close, and having my husband along changes the dynamic a lot (my friend feels kind of uncomfortable around straight men, and the two of them don’t have a whole lot in common). The problem is that I feel that now that I’m married, it’s not really appropriate for me to be socializing without my husband. All this is made a lot more complicated by the fact that I’m very close to my friend–in some ways, I’m closer to him than to my husband. My husband isn’t thrilled about my relationship with my friend, but he tolerates it. The bottom line is that on some level, I feel like I’m cheating on my husband, but obviously, there’s nothing sexual between my friend and me. Am I just making myself feel unnecessarily guilty over this whole thing?
– Just Married
BG’s answer after the jump!
Feeling left out on August 10, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
I liked this guy for a long time, and we ended up becoming pretty close friends… but just friends. The problem was, I still liked him, and I had the feeling that he liked my best friend. So he and my best friend hooked up recently, and at first I was really upset. But after a long crying-hugging-talking session with my best friend, I felt much better, and now I can honestly say I don’t like the guy as anything more than a great friend. So everything’s just peachy, except for when the three of us get together. I don’t feel jealous or anything, I just feel lonely. It’s like, my two best friends in the whole world are totally happy together, and I’m just alone. I don’t know what to do about this. We did a lot of stuff together as a group before they got together, and had a blast, and they still want me to come along, and most of the time, it’s fine. But then there are those moments– the kind of moments that are not meant for three people. I don’t have a boyfriend, so it looks like we’re just stuck being a threesome (not that kind of threesome!). What should I do?
– Third Wheel
Dear Third Wheel,
Yep, it’s totally easier to deal with Wheels 1 and 2 when they’re not rolling right in your face. So go out with them often enough to maintain the friendship, but don’t feel like a total square if sometimes you feel like just saying no.
MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you’ll find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.
In this week’s column, Paranoid is worried that there is more than friendship between her boyfriend and his best gal pal. This is only compounded by the fact that they’re dating long-distance. You can read the column at Happen, check out the comments from the original MSN posting, and comment below!
Here, your weekly installment of Ask Lynn, BG’s alter ego’s column at MSN.com (powered by Match.com). This week, we meet Hopelessly Heartbroken, who’s head over heels for his best friend. There’s just one thing they don’t have in common, and given his pen-name, you can guess it’s not a passion for film noir. To make matters worse, she has unceremoniously introduced HH to her swell new boyfriend. Should he stay friends with her? More to the point, can he … without, he asks, being “that jealous guy” in her life? Read Lynn’s advice to find out, and then come back here to comment!
Bonus: for more on the tricky — but often doable — friends-to-lovers upgrade, click here!