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September 1

Now at MSN.com: Typing out the other woman’s name

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 6:25 am

Here, your weekly installment — now on Mondays!* — of Ask Lynn, the advice column penned by BG’s alter ego at MSN.com (powered by Match.com). This week we meet Brian (nope, not Baffled Brian, or Brian in Baltimore, or Cryin’ Brian; just, elegantly, Brian), who, as many do, has been chatting casually with (at least) two women online. But among the many things he learned about them — enjoyment of long walks, equal comfort in both jeans and dress-up — was, it turned out, this: the two ladies are FRIENDS. With each other. Now, with Busted Brian, not so much.

But really. Was Brian Two-Timin’, or just … dating? (Specifically, the online version of what BG calls “Brady Dating” — ?) Find out what Lynn has to say, and then come back here to comment! (If you’re also commenting, casually, on another blog, we won’t mind.)

* Our latest season of all-new adventures wrapped up Monday before last >sniff< ! Stay tuned for more!


July 30

Living Dead ISO Same…

Filed under: Comedy,Treats — posted by Sadie @ 6:59 am

Are you discriminating, sophisticated, and looking for that special someone with whom to roam the earth until we finally succumb to maggots and rot?

If so, I just may be your zombie.

I like shambles down the beach, brains, and BRAAAAAIIIIINSSSS.

To brains me, just brains my BRRRAAAAIIIIINSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I found a date through zombie harmony - one of the best free dating sites for zombies


July 8

Now at MSN.com: When should I tell her about my disability?

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 6:00 am

Here, your weekly installment of Ask Lynn, BG’s alter ego’s column at MSN.com (powered by Match.com). This week, we meet “Hope It Works,” who has a serious disability that keeps him from doing certain things … though not from meeting people online. Now, he’s met someone pretty special, but he doesn’t know when or how to give her his full story. On the one hand, he says, it’s a lot to lay on someone you barely know; on the other, of course, he knows it’s something she has to know. What to say without scaring her away? See what Lynn thinks — and then come back here to share your own thoughts!

P.S. A couple more tidbits that touch on love and disability: a letter to BG from Turf Warrior, plus a nice shoutout from JulieFoolie (third item on page).


May 29

Nobody’s phool

Filed under: News — posted by Mia @ 4:22 pm

Phomance: the old-fashioned kind of courtship, where you talk on the phone rather than email and text? Nope: phomance, comes the word from CNET, is a type of phishing scam aimed at the online dating community. “We’ve all done foolish things for romance,” writes Ben Nahorney, about his interaction with a phlirtatious phomancer from the phormer Soviet Union, who was, as he tells it, “‘I’ll wire her money just to take care­ of her sick puppy’ gorgeous.” See where the scam might come in?

Fortunately for everyone but the scammers, Nahorney is not only a member of a dating website, but also a senior information developer at the security software company Symantec. BUSTED! In his blog, Nahorney describes the warning signs that came along with his initial feelings of hope and excitement, and which tactics he pulled from his own bag of tricks to reveal the true nature of their would-be victim/would-be scammer relationship.

But you don’t have to be, well, a senior information developer at a security software company in order to sniff out a phony. Nor should you quit online dating in phear. Just remember what BG says: “be aware, but don’t be scared.”


April 23

The art of cyberromance

Filed under: Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 1:51 pm

Okay, this (as opposed to this) is the kind of representation online dating deserves.


I enjoy long walks, red flags

Filed under: News — posted by Breakup Girl @ 7:39 am

Single superhero, smart/cute/funny, enjoys world travel and spicy food, seeks that one special reporter who will not get sucked into writing yet ANOTHER unbalanced story about how internet dating is dangerous and SCAAAAAAAAAAARY.

The latest dispatch, from CNN, reports that more and more people (mostly women, I guess) are becoming victims of “romance fraud:” scams by would-be suitors “designed to prey on [their] emotions to get [their] money.” (Wait. Doesn’t that describe the wedding industry? Har.) There’s even a website called RomanceScams.org, with tips for avoiding romance fraud and help for those who fell prey. Founder Barb Sluppick told CNN that the site, now three years old, has over 30,000 members: 833 have reported financial losses totaling $8,244,800.05.

Okay, that’s a lot of money for new “work boots” and (yes) wedding expenses. I’m not saying this info’s not newsworthy or troubling in and of itself, or that people shouldn’t be aware of red flags. (Like, er, being asked for lots of money by someone who “owns a diamond mine.”) But a little context would be nice. Like the fact that Match.com alone has a membership of 15 million, which is a lot more than 833. Or the notion that the Interwebs are not the only domain of scammers, or even of jerks and meanies. Just because you meet someone at a party does not mean he or she is telling the truth about needing help, just this once, with a car payment. Or how about the flipside: that while, yes, heartbreak — sometimes the illegal kind — happens online (and elsewhere), so does the opposite. You know, love and happily ever after. I don’t know why some are still so hellbent on portraying dating sites as some sort of giant maximum security prison network. To the eleven of you who still haven’t tried online dating: be aware, but don’t be scared.


April 8

Profiles in ambivalence

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:37 am

Here, your weekly installment of Ask Lynn, BG’s alter ego’s column at MSN.com (powered by Match.com). This week, we meet “A Little Worn Out,” who has hit the all-important three-month mark with her online man. (Yes, seems they’ve actually met in person.) That’s the good news. Here’s the less good: she happened (not “happened”) to notice that his profile, three months in, was still active. And that he’d recently been online.


Of course, her fella could have logged in in order to show off “Worn Out” to his mother. Right? Hello? Anyone?

Or … crap. What should she do? Read Lynn’s response, and then come back here to comment!


April 1

The Denver boot

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:11 am

Here, your weekly installment of Ask Lynn, BG’s alter ego’s column at MSN.com (powered by Match.com). This one may be less of a lightning rod than last week’s “Call me when you’re skinny,” but we’re betting there’s something we can all relate to in the letter from “Not Over in Denver.”

His story: He’s in New York, she’s in Denver. They meet online. They are together (mostly online but a few times off) for seven months, during which time he “nurses her back to health” after a collosally crappy series of psychological challenges. Some thanks: She leaves him for her brother-in-law’s best friend, ten years her junior. His questions: “As dumb as it may seem, should I even hope that we might reconcile down the road? I mean, what are the chances she will even last with this younger guy? If she and I don’t date again, is there anything I can do about the fact that we ended terribly, which I regret? And how can I find closure on this?”

Yep, those are pretty much the million-dollar questions of just about any breakup. Lynn answers them all (‘That’ll be $4,000,000″) — and offers this bonus: closure ain’t as hard to find as you think. Read the whole story, and then come back here to comment!


March 25

Now at MSN.com: “Call me when you’re skinny”

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:35 am

Here, your weekly installment of Ask Lynn, BG’s alter ego’s column at MSN.com (powered by Match.com). Today we meet “Is Beauty Only Skin Deep?”, who has met someone of her own — online, anyway. Endless phone calls, round-the-clock IM, talk of marriage, sheer bliss…at least over optical fiber. But when her fella finally sees her photo (yes, after the M-word comes up), it’s perhaps his true face that shows. His response: “You’re pretty, but can you call again when you lose some weight?”

That, or when pigs fly?

Read the whole shebang, and then come back here to comment!


February 28

Dating while positive

Filed under: News — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:00 am

Here at BreakupGirl.net, we talk a lot about the challenges of finding love when you are shy, when you have low self-esteem, when you don’t look like society’s ideal single, when you live in a small town, when you’re spinning your wheels in a romance rut. But what about finding — and keeping — love when you know that at some dreaded point, just when things were going so awesome, you’re going to have to say, “There’s something I have to tell you”?

At this point, the news that anyone has a sexually-transmitted infection (STI) should not be a shocker. STIs are, in fact, shockingly common. (At least half of sexually active men and women get HPV at some point in their lives, for example.) Yet matter how “out” people are these days about Asperger’s or therapy or whatever they take to help them sleep, the stigma against STIs — and the 19 million people who have them — remains as virulent and pervasive as the infections themselves. They are, after all, about sex — stereotypically, about casual, anonymous, unprotected sex; about (also stereotypically!) skeevy sores where the sun don’t shine. Just look at the vernacular: people who say they’ve tested negative for STIs commonly call themselves “clean.” Opposite: “dirty.” Carriers of STIs: they’re seen (WRONGLY, let’s be clear) as slutty, stupid, damaged goods. (This despite the facts: you can, of course, get infected from your first and only partner; condoms may not provide 100% protection.)

Wouldn’t it be nice if there were a place, a magical place, where people with STIs never had to have The Talk? Where they could make friends — even find lovers — knowing that no one would judge them, never mind dump them, over a stroke of bum luck and the occasional cold sore?


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