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February 21

“I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees.” “Me too!”

Filed under: Advice,News — posted by Breakup Girl @ 1:03 pm

That guy you’re chatting up online? He could be … that other guy. This just in from the Wall Street Journal:

“Among the 125 million people in the U.S. who visit online dating and social-networking sites are a growing number of dullards who steal personal profiles, life philosophies, evensignature poems. ‘Dude u like copied my whole myspace,’ posts one aggrieved victim. Copycats use the real-life wit of others to create cut-and-paste personas, hoping to land dates or just look clever. Hugh Gallagher, a 36-year-old writer in New York, is one of the copied. Match.com has more than 50 profiles with parts of Mr. Gallagher’s college entrance essay, which he penned nearly two decades ago and later appeared in Harper’s Magazine. ‘I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees’ and ‘I write award-winning operas’ are among Mr. Gallagher’s most popular lines.”

Read the whole piece for some entertaining anecdotes about people getting royally busted — dude, if you say you write award-winning operas, your date is going to ask about them! — or, on an upside, overhauling their profiles after seeing them cut and pasted onto someone else’s page (!) … and realizing they didn’t like what they’d said in the first place.

Yeah, it’s amusing, and there’s even a happy ending. And if it’s a phenomenon, it’s a phenomenon; report away. But still. BG remains weary of the seemingly endless out-churning of “Gotcha!” articles about online dating that, intentionally or not, perpetuate the misapprehension that the people you find on the Internet are probably lying, that they are NOT WHO THEY SAY THEY ARE. (Why, we revisited that chestnut just this week, in a letter from 1997.)

(more…)

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February 20

Goodbye IRL

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:57 am

Classic letterA LONG one from December 16, 1997…

Dear Breakup Girl,
I’ve just spent $1500 in air fare and hotel bills to visit a man I’d corresponded with by e-mail frequently (often more than once a day) for seven months. We seemed especially well-suited to each other (we have identical graduate degrees) and each of us was amazed at how easy and natural the relationship progressed.

But from the first moment of my arrival, it was obvious that he was not really present or interested. For the next few days, he spent bare minimum time with me — I finally told him I felt like I was his mother’s roommate’s niece that he had promised to show around town.

(more…)

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