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“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

December 2, 2011

Now living apart

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:18 am

livingtogetherMoving out on September 7, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. The first year, we were at different colleges on the East Coast 20 minutes apart, so we spent most weekends together but that was about it. Then we both graduated and moved to California, about 2 hours apart. We didn’t specifically plan to relocate together, it was mostly fortunate coincidence. After about 2 months of this, we found a place together, then lived together with various other housemates for almost 3 years.

On the outside, we look like a perfectly happy couple, and in many respects we are. But problems with housemates put a strain on our living situation, and this has spilled over into our relationship. We have some living style differences (he stays up until 3 AM, I have to work 9-5; I’m messy, he’s neat; he has good financial sense and I don’t, etc.) and each of us has character traits that irritate the other. I have thought long and hard about these things and have decided that I can live with them all. But he has some serious reservations about a few of mine (in particular, I can have a quick, sharp temper and he has a hard time dealing with that) and isn’t so sure he can live with them.

To complicate matters, this is his first real relationship. So he feels like he has no basis for comparison as to how happy he ought to be or as to what he ought to want out of a relationship. I’ve been in a few other relationships, so this is not a problem for me: I believe that this is a basically good relationship and worth saving. But he is not so sure.

For about the last year, he’s been satisfied enough with the relationship to want to continue with it, but not satisfied enough that he’s willing to make any sort of long term commitment. We have talked about this many, many times, but no kind of resolution has ever come out of it. Then, back in March, I discovered an advice columnist called Breakup Girl. Maybe you’ve heard of her. She’d written this really interesting column on space, which I read, and thought about. Not long after, my BF and I were getting into one of these discussions, and I brought up the idea of having some space. He agreed to think about it. About a week later, he came up with the idea of living apart. He suggested that it might be a good way for him to get some space and be able to think about the bigger problems in our relationship without getting distracted by all the minor day-to-day irritations involved in living with someone. So we discussed that for a couple of months, then agreed to try it.

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November 6, 2009

Which Change to Believe In?

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:56 am

Opening the lines of communication on March 9, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

There’s a lot said about not pushing people to change and just accepting differences. Yet, good relationships are supposed to involve lots of communicating, which suggests it is for working out differences. How do you know which issues are important and which ones are simply annoying?

— Jonus

Dear Jonus,

Brilliant question. Practical answer: it’s all relative. Here’s a project for everyone wondering the same thing: make a list of all the issues in your relationship. All of them. Even the dumb stuff. Everything. From “We have different styles of handling money” to “”How can she not think that what the President does under his desk is his own business?” to “Ketchup on eggs?” Don’t worry, you’re not going to have to show it to anyone (though Breakup Girl is always curious about these things). Now put it away for a day (you may wish to encrypt it in Navajo). Take it out and add more. Put it away again for a few days. Now take it out one more time, curl up with some chamomile and a highlighter, and read. Now that you see all the issues together in one context, you tell me: which ones are important and which ones are just annoying? My sense is that since you thought to ask this question in the first place, you’ll know what’s worth highlighting.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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March 6, 2009

“Fear of Flying”

Filed under: Animation — posted by Chris @ 8:43 am

Breakup Girl is the superhero that saves love lives the world over! But what about her own? When she meets the mighty Man-Guy, you will believe that sparks can fly.

DISCLAIMER: “Fear of Flying” was animated in the more innocent time before September 11th, when crashing-planes, though a questionable source of humor, was not yet completely off-limits.

Unlike our two-minute advice-centric shorts, this 7-minute cartoon — a pilot for a proposed second season of cartoons on Oxygen — accurately renders Breakup Girl’s comic adventures. Tragically, our team was laid off before this cartoon could even air, and it did not resurface online until 2003, when we reclaimed the the rights to BG.

This cartoon features a super turn by Rob Paravonian (yes, that Rob Paravonian) as Defender Stratocaster; And as of last Monday we can say 24‘s Johnathan McClain as Man-Guy!

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February 10, 2009

Taking The Leap

Filed under: Animation — posted by Chris @ 5:58 am

This bride-to-be has kissed a lot of frogs to find her Prince Charming, but now she’s afraid to take the leap. Can Breakup Girl warm her cold feet?

Another classic Breakup Girl animation finally hits YouTube!

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June 16, 2008

“Light & Shadow”

Filed under: Comics — posted by Chris @ 6:10 am

This power couple is as different as day and dark knight…

Light & Shadow, Page 1

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