Is this: When it comes to other people’s relationships, you just never know.

At least when one door closes, another [big, gay] door opens.

But beyond that, we can’t put how we feel about the Gores’ split any better than FOBG Rebecca Traister, writing in Salon:

My attempt to sort out why I am unexpectedly gutted by the news of Al and Tipper Gore’s separation:

1. Of course we only see publicly performed versions of political couple-hood, but the Gores’ public performance was pretty damn heart-warming, even if it did tilt a touch too far on the ew-gross-mom-and-dad-are-making-out spectrum. But that’s the point! Mom and dad made out and they still couldn’t make it?

2. Forty years. You get through forty years — of ill-behaved children and ill-behaved bosses and stolen elections — and then you split? This is precisely the kind of mysterious and inexplicable narrative of marriage thing that scares the bejesus out of people who are newly or not yet married. Forty years?

3. Relatedly: so soon after Robbins and Sarandon? Really? Couldn’t divorce have taken the Bushes, or maybe the Broderick-Parkers, first, and given us some respite from confounding and embarrassingly inappropriate sadness over the personal decisions of celebrity couples whose marriages we didn’t even realize we had any emotional investment in until they dropped this bomb all over our post-Memorial Day Tuesday and now we can’t work because we’re really, stupidly sad?

4. Good god, does this mean that Al Gore is going to date? And plus, oh please please please tell me he has not already been dating. Do not want to know. Nyah, nyah, nyah. I cannot hear you. I cannot heeeeaaaar you.

5. Relatedly: they were supposed to be the functional couple. The ones who personally disapproved of the cigars and the thongs and the rest of the ridiculousness so mightily that they eschewed the Big Dog’s help in 2000 and look what happened! All because they were the functional couple!

6. It had never occurred to me that it would bother me in the slightest if Al and Tipper Gore got a divorce mostly because it had never occurred to me that Al and Tipper Gore would ever get a divorce.

…I didn’t know I had any room at all to care about the Gores’ relationship, but maybe because it’s something so much smaller, so much more personal, a headline so much easier to absorb than the other larger tragedies playing out around the globe that this small piece of political gossip turns out to be such an unbelievable freaking bummer.

Enabling Supporting the time-honored marketing scheme theory that everything is OK if it results in shopping, UK department store empire Debenham’s has introduced a kicky new concept in retail therapy: the divorce registry!

Another nail in the coffin of the sanctity of marriage? Liberating new trend? Stupid marketing gimmick? What do you think?

MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you can find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week Lynn helps Edgy in Erie, a gal living with, and raising her kids with, a guy who has not fully extricated himself from his unhappy marriage. Namely:

1. He hasn’t followed through with the divorce.
2. He has cheated on me with her.
3. He talks to her often and seems overly concerned with the goings-on of her life (beyond kid-related things).

After three years, does this guy need understanding, or a kick in the pants? Read the full letter — and Lynn’s response — at Happen, then comment below!

Tracy Clark-Flory of Salon.com’s Broadsheet calls out the New York Times for misrepresenting statistics in the title of their article, “Living Together First Doesn’t Make Marriage Last, Study Finds.” Clark-Flory examines the statistics of said study and looks to other sources to sum up with her title “Living in sin not so bad after all”.

Now, a little something from revelations…for those living in sin, marriage isn’t always the end goal. Whoa. SHOCKER. How do I know this? Live in an overpriced metropolis where rent-controlled apartments are as hard to come by as the Holy Grail or the Ark of the Covenant and you find a lot of people shacking up for reasons other than a trial run for a walk down the aisle. Some of these reasons include freedom from rooommates, convenience, mobility, economics, and well, just plain old lust. So, what’s important in moving from “living in sin” to making an “honest man/woman/etc. out of someone/yourself”?

Having co-habitated a time or two, experience has taught me that what makes or breaks your relationship isn’t decided from the day to day stuff of living in each other’s space. It’s about sharing basic values and goals as a couple. It’s also about knowing why you moved in together and realizing that can change for both people. The day to day stuff just exacerbates an eventually doomed union. Really, even if someone keeps a clean house and finds your keys, it’s not going to fix your fear of commitment or the fact that you hate their work ethic. However, if a relationship is already working on the inner levels, leaving the cap off the toothpaste or drinking out of the orange juice carton isn’t such a big deal. Whether or not a couple lives together isn’t going to break them so much as reinforce what they already know – good and bad. As Clark-Flory notes “you’re better off following your own heart than any supposed make-or-break marital rules.”

The couples who do end up married after first living together most likely would have gotten married anyways – whether they both saw marriage as a possible end goal or they were the type to ignore doubt and just push forward. I am actually curious to know how many couples move in together and break up before the point of marriage. If living in sin is bad for anyone, it’s most likely divorce lawyers.

Just don’t forget the pre-prenup!

Ending things improperly on March 16, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I want to end my marriage, but I don’t know how to tell him. Is it fair to write him a letter or should I tell him in person?

— Kat

Dear Kat,

Rule of thumb: unseal the deal the same way that you sealed it. Choose the medium that matches and honors the relationship. If you met online — and have conducted your relationship entirely online — then (and only then) can you break up online.You may use the telephone to tell your Psychic that you just want to be Friends. But I’m guessing that you two are more than…pen pals. So, yeah, you’re going to have to do the deed face to face. BUT. If you don’t trust yourself to remain coherent, and you have some key points to get across and set in stone, definitely go ahead and write them down. Then either start the conversation with the letter, or submit it as a “handout” during or after. Good luck. And please spell-check.

Love,
Breakup Girl

Spinning her wheels on March 16, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I’ve been dating a guy for five months and the first three weeks were great…until he bought a racecar. My concern is that he’s still legally married but separated physically from his wife. He’s said that he was going to court the end of January for a divorce and to this day hasn’t. Are things too comfy for him? Why hasn’t he divorced yet? By the way, his wife is pregnant by the man she’s living with. What’s keeping my boyfriend from getting divorced? He had that intention before we got together.

–Torn and Confused

Dear Torn,

You know how when you’re confused and upset, you go and buy an excellent pair of shoes, or a pony, and you feel a little better? Well, that’s kind of the deal with this racecar … except this guy seems to think that having the race car actually means that all his midlife problems are sorted out. And I’m also worried that for the last five months (minus three weeks) you seem to have fallen for it, too. Leave him spinning his wheels in his new toy; ride off into the sunset with your new Manolos. Alone.

Love,
Breakup Girl

Taking stock on January 4, 1999…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I seem to be suffering long-term effects from a breakup that occurred in May of this year. We started dating in January, he was very warm, caring, called every day, brought flowers and wine whenever he came to see me. Told me everyday that he was thinking about me. We were very hot together.

I knew he was going through a divorce shortly after we started dating. I know that’s the big #1 no-no in dating. I just waited for 2 years after my divorce for a man just like him to come into my life. I was ready to fall for someone.

Several problems happened during the early part of our relationship: one of his parents died unexpectedly and he was suffering massive guilt after that. His divorce took a very nasty turn for the worse. My life was making great improvements all the way around.

In April, he started to tell me that he needed time to think. I let go for a couple of weeks and then he wanted to see me again. I saw him once and told myself that this was the last time I would ever see him again and I used it as a way to say goodbye to him inside myself. We never said goodbye.

(more…)

Oh noes! Flirty messages from old flames are troubling enough to current spouses, but for some married people, the temptation of having all your old flames just a click away may be too much. Divorce attorneys are reporting now that at least 1 in 5 divorce petitions cite Facebook as proof of an affair or inappropriate behavior.

We get emails from people worried about IM and text messages from exes, which certainly isn’t new, so as easy as Facebook makes it to reconnect with old flames, it’s no surprise that those inclined to stray are finding it easier to do so with more people, more often.

“The most common reason seemed to be people having inappropriate sexual chats with people they were not supposed to,” says Mark Keenan, Managing Director of Divorce-Online, in the Telegraph UK article reporting these findings.

Some cheaters are flaunting their misbehavior, and even informing their jilted spouse of their impending divorce by updating their relationship status.

While I believe that it’s possible to be platonic, mutually respectful friends with exes, I can also empathize with those who really kinda hate Facebook. Hate how ghosts of nightmares past seem to come back from the grave complete with slutty profile picture and a comment for everything that’s said and done, and how “it’s just Facebook, it doesn’t matter” starts to sound pretty weak when every word has an audience of hundreds or thousands.

Unlimited calling on March 9, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I am turning to you to get another viewpoint — hopefully one from someone not so closely involved in this mess.

My friends and family all say “just hang up on the sucka!” Yes, you’ve guessed it, I’m getting divorced from my husband of 5 years…and he will not leave me alone. He calls me at work, at home, when I’m in the shower, outside, in meetings — I’ve repeatedly asked, told, begged, pleaded with him not to do this, but it continues.

At home, I’ve got Caller ID and can screen calls through the answering machine, and unless he actually has some valid reason he needs to speak with me, I let him leave a message and do not talk to him. At work, however, I have to pick up my phone when it rings (unique concept, huh?!) and at least once a day it’s him. “Hi, whadda ya doin?” He has never grasped that I work in a furiously fast-paced computer software company, and I have neither the time or inclination (especially now!) to sit and talk to him about nothing…that kind of behavior is for lovers, which we certainly aren’t now and probably never were (yes, it was a horrible marriage and involved every kind of abuse you can think of from him towards me). I just want him out of my life.

(more…)

BG will be back posting tomorrow. Today I’m bizzy with Avril.