An international incident from June 15, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I have lived together with this girl for two years, and before that we dated for about two years. I have wanted a long time to break up, but she doesn’t want to. I have been very open and honest about what I feel, and am asking her several times a week to move out. She refuses, says she can’t move out and that she feels unsafe in this big town without me (which is a European capital — she comes from a smaller place some 300 miles from here, and moved here to be with me). Every time I bring the topic up, she thinks I’m being mean. We live in a flat which I own and that I lived alone in for 11 months before she moved in. I really want to break up. To change locks or contact the police or some other authority seems so mean, but sometimes seems like the only option. Is there a nicer way?

— Anders

BG’s answer after the jump!

BG’s alter ego caught up with BG’s favorite new dating expert the other day at Salon.com. But Katherine Chloe Cahoon was also kind enough to stop by BreakupGirl.net to offer some exclusive advice to our readers, especially those who’ll be traveling across the pond on winter break!

BG: I am not blonde. Will European men still think I’m cute?

KCC: You don’t have to have blond hair to attract European men. Opposites do attract! So if you are in Spain and have blond hair, they’re going to like you. Plus, it’s relative. I’m not that blond, and they considered me to be one of the blondest girls they’d ever seen. Also, they would love you in Sweden.

BG: If I can’t get to Europe, what are my next best options for meeting European Men?

KCC: The world is becoming so international that I have actually met European men in the States. I would say the best place to meet them is at the dance clubs because dancing is so prevalent in Europe. It’s not like the States. You wil go to a club and they will know how to salsa and cha cha and samba — everything, you name it. I was in New Orleans five months ago and there were 20 European Men at the dance club! It was ridiculous! I am in Seattle now. We are pretty ethnic in that we have lots of different people from different countries. It’s very global and I have met Europeans everywhere from the grocery store to the park.

BG: What were they shopping for at the grocery store? Espresso, I guess?

KCC: Most of them were getting fruit. They were buying melon. They were just learning English, and they asked for help. That’s how I heard that they were European.

BG: There are a lot of countries in Europe. When I am able to go, where should I start looking?

KCC: When I went there to study I had an international media and management major. So I chose where to go based on what would be best for me business-wise and what piqued my interest. This is the number one key for women. They shouldn’t wake up this morning and say I have to find a boyfriend or go on a manhunt. They should say, I want to have fun and learn the culture and be carefree. So I would pick the country based on personal interest. Like if you know a language or speak a little that is an excellent place to start.

BG: What’s your advice if I meet a man from one of those really small countries and  he doesn’t speak any English?

KCC: I think that girls should be in Europe to have fun. I advise you to pick up as much of the language as you can, but then don’t worry about it. I met guys whose language I didn’t speak, and they didn’t speak mine, and we had a fabulous time. It’s amazing how much you can communicate without speaking. You rely on pantomime. You can’t date someone seriously that way, of course. Though I have a friend who made it through five dates by relying on pantomime. And also as you’re in a country for more time you’ll pick up the language and will start to be able to converse with the natives.

BG: Why European men in particular?

KCC: I love American men as well as European men and men of many different nationalities. But I found that when we go to another place like Europe to lern the culture it’s much more fascinating if you do it with the natives, and European men very much want to show girls an excellent time. If you do go there showing interest in their homeland, your experience is going to be enhanced.

Related: Breakup Girl’s European Vacation!