Getting back out there on March 9, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

It’s been almost a year, and I still feel sick to my stomach when I see the answering machine with zero messages. I know we can never bet back together, but I keep waiting for him to say he made a mistake. After fifteen years together, I don’t know where to go to meet someone else. Any advice for a 40-year-old NYC girl to find someone else to spend my energy on?

– Brook

Dear Brook,

Please know that we all feel a mite queasy when we come home to zero messages. I think we all know what Randy Travis meant when he sang, “If my phone still ain’t ringing, I assume it still ain’t you.” BG even has a friend — we’ll call her Randy — who *69s when she zeros out, just to see for sure.

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MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you’ll find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week Lynn advises Searching in New Hampshire — a 50-ish single mom looking for a man who is willing to date a woman with small children. Where should she look without moving to a bigger town? Read Lynn’s suggestions then come back here to comment!

Moving on circa January 19, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

After reading these letters I was impressed how you handled the situations with great level-headedness. So I’ll give it a whirl with my story.

I went out with this girl for nine months and let me tell you I was the happiest I’ve ever been. Everything about her was amazing to me. I knew we were going to break up because of our likes and dislikes. Our personalities were right on but we couldn’t decide on chocolate or vanilla ice cream. Sad. So here I am writing to Breakup Girl more than ONE YEAR later asking for someone to hit me on the head so I’ll forget this girl. Each of the few times that I talk to her she has always been so nice to me but I know she doesn’t want me anymore. I wish she would be mean. Anyway, If I can reason with myself like this, why haven’t I moved on?

–In Need of a Lobotomy

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