Cursing isn’t really Breakup Girl’s style, but jaunty breakup songs with catchy melodies in a Sixties-soul vein sure are. If you’re at work this morning, turn down your speakers (NSFW) and enjoy.

You may know him from “How I Met Your Mother” or “School of Rock,” from his popular YouTube channel, or from his critically acclaimed, extended-run show at Hollywood’s Celebration Theater. Or you may know his sidekick, Lucas Coatney, from season 3 of Idol! He’s Ryan O’Connor, a self-described “big fat gay singing Kathy Griffin, and his big fat gay singing show, “Ryan O’Connor Eats His Feelings,” is coming soon — very soon — to a cabaret near you.

The show tells O’Connor’s life story through song and gab, covering his childhood and adolescence in conservative Arizona, his relationship with a Mormon ex-college-football star from Salt Lake City, and his lusts for everything from food to theater.

Our own Amy K. caught up with Ryan as he was preparing for his national tour’s June 7 launch in San Francisco (that’s Monday night!):

AK: Are gay breakups different from straight breakups?
RO: The truth is, gay breakups just tend to be more dramatic. But I’ve also noticed that the transition from boyfriend to friend is more prevalent in the gay community than the straight community. My boyfriend and I are always going out with exes of mine or exes of his. Truth be told, they’re usually his — I’m not as good at it. My breakups tend to be more abrupt. Besides, it’s not my favorite thing, if I’m going to be completely honest. I feel like if you’ve cut it out, really cut it out. That’s part of the magic of crossing that line — knowing that once you cross it, you can’t go back. If I’ve been naked with you, I can’t un-see you naked. And with my boyfriend’s partners? I try to be the bigger person, but I can’t help but be like, “you slept with it?”

AK: I know what you mean! I have my husband’s ex-wife to contend with!
RO: Oh, that’s even worse! Not only did you sleep with it or live with it — you married it! That’s one of the blessings of not having gay marriage — not having ex-husbands to deal with.

AK: Well, speaking of — what did you think of the Prop 8 experience here in California?
RO: It was so surprising, when the Supreme Court even made that ruling in the first place, and it came as a total shock to most of us. I was single at the time, and suddenly there was this right we didn’t know what to do with. We were all aware there was this tiny window of time when we could get married and have it be legal, and it felt like there was tremendous pressure to partner up — now! It was like a giant game of emotional dodgeball.

Then when Prop 8 went through, it was such a letdown. It all happened at once. I was at Obama’s headquarters in Century City here in LA, and it was this huge ballroom where all these giant TVs were showing the announcement that an African-American had been elected president. And on this tiny TV in the corner with about 15 gay and lesbian men and women huddled around it, and that’s where I found out Prop 8 had gone through. So there was all this hope on one side, and disappointment on the other. But never fear. A lot of people have had their consciousness raised by this. I think California will have gay marriage by 2011.

AK: I’ll take that bet. You talk a lot in your act about being a compulsive overeater. What’s that like on a date?
I’ll tell you, I’m so fortunate because my boyfriend is what you might call a chubby-chaser. Though that has its own complications: if someone loves me for the thing I hate most about myself, could I lose the man I love just by getting skinny? I’ve learned to love myself in a whole new way because he loves my body the way it is. And I have to, too: because if I can love myself at any weight, dropping pounds is just icing on the cake — no pun intended!

AK: What’s the show like?
It’s called cabaret, but I’m going out of my way to make it accessible to people who’ve never been to cabaret in their life. Even though it’s very specific, it’s completely relatable — it’s called Ryan O’Connor Eats his Feelings, but it could just as easily be called John Doe Drinks his Feelings or  Tiger Woods Fucks his Feelings. Because it’s about learning to feel your feelings through music and laughter rather than whatever addiction you have.

To me, it doesn’t make sense that cabaret is not as popular as standup. They’re both storytelling. Cabaret should be as mainstream as Kathy Griffin or Dane Cook. It just takes a few people getting out there and starting it.

Click here for Ryan O’Connor’s full tour schedule!

This one’s goin’ out to all our fellow a cappella geeks!

This Valentine’s Day, TOMORROW, PEOPLE, February 14th, at 7:30pm, HBO 2 will premier Debra J. Solomon’s animated short film Getting Over Him in 8 Songs or Less. The film chronicles the period in Solomon’s life just after her husband of 17 years — 17 years! — leaves her. Nearly paralyzed with loss and loneliness, she found herself writing songs. That process became this film: directed, written, sung, narrated, and generally made wonderful by Debra J. Solomon, of whom I am now a huge fan.

While I’m not going currently going through a rough breakup, I’ve been through some so cataclysmic and life-altering I probably still need therapy, and that’s just what Debra’s film gave me. Her songs aren’t so much steps to recovery as earnest expressions of all the painful questions, doubts, and disappointments that one experiences when someone they’ve built their life around suddenly walks away. Solomon doesn’t dwell on her own details, but we certainly feel like we get to know her — and root for her. Her songs are personal and poignant, but their universal themes will speak to any aching heart.

BG’s alter ego joins a distinguished panel…

Thursday, February 11, 2010
7:30-9:30 p.m.
FREE

Full Spectrum and Greenlight Bookstore
present
THE STAR-CROSSED LOVERS
“Is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?”

A panel discussion with four creators who explore the bittersweet nature of romantic love.

Join us when poet/author/playwright Mo Beasley, musician/singer-songwriter Trevor Exter, author/journalist/advice columnist/BG alter ego Lynn Harris, and musician/composer Tamar-kali discuss the ideas and experiences behind their work, and the prickly thorns that can bloom with desire.  Moderated by musician/transformational counselor K. Neycha Herford.

Greenlight Bookstore
686 Fulton Street
[@ South Portland, in Fort Greene]
Brooklyn, NY 11217

C to Lafayette Ave; G to Fulton;
2/3, 4/5, D, Q to Atlantic Ave;
D, M, N, R to Pacific St

About Full Spectrum: Conversations Among Artists, Activists, Explorers & Thinkers

Held at cultural venues throughout New York City, Full Spectrum explores complex social issues through a prism of arts and culture.  Each event features four creators in a one-hour discussion on a topic that links their work, followed by an audience Q&A.  Panelists are drawn from the worlds of dance, fashion, film, literature, music, theater, visual art, and more.  The forums are free to the public, and their impact lasts long after the conversations have ended.

Co-Founders/Co-Producers:
Brian Tate & Danny Simmons
Co-Directors: Lacy Austin, Vanessa Chakour, K. Neycha Herford
Advisors: LaRonda Davis, Malissa/Masala

FS Partners
Our 2010 Season is presented by Con Edison, with generous support from Rush Philanthropic Arts Foundation, The BRMC Group, Inc., and Bill de Blasio.  Our venue partners are Danny Simmons’ Corridor Gallery, Greenlight Bookstore, and powerHouse Arena.

Ah, breakup songs. They’re so often set on infinite repeat in our souls. So you oughta know: are they unhealthy in their forwarding of a pro-wallow agenda?

Not necessarily so, says Thao Nguyen — she of Thao and the Get Down Stay Down (a personal fave band o’mine, although better known for the sort of “something with shouting and hand claps in the chorus” songs which Nguyen identifies here as totally not breakup-friendly).  In this nice commentary in Bitch Magazine, Nguyen celebrates the therapeutic salve of a deeply felt, fully embraced breakup song. And she’s got an I’m-OK-you’re-OK take on the importance of the dirge for the recently dumped:

“It is the sauna where all your emotions gather after work and sit and talk shit or breathe deeply and with each action make themselves hotter and sweatier until there is such frenzied perspiration you are crying on the outside, probably alone in your car. The breakup song serves a very specific role in the triage of heartbreak. I’m not saying it’s healthy to delve and wallow — but I am saying everyone I know does it, so let us honor the sad, slow breakup song for the fucked-up and necessary friend it is.”

Breakup bonus: Included at essay’s end is Nguyen’s personally curated track list for the all-time heartbreak catalog. Comment or add your own here!

Presenting Menage a Twang: BG’s new fav-o-rite local band!

P.S. Our spy, who saw them the other night, reports that they also sang (not from the album) “Your Love is Like Time Warner Cable.” (You know, as in, “I hate you but can’t live without you.”) Other titles included I’ll Only Support Your Art for So Long, Find Me on Facebook, I Don’t Want to Hold Your Baby, The Pantsuit, and Your Boyfriend Has a Boyfriend.
P.P.S. New Yorkers in inter-borough relationships, please do not miss Weekend Service Changes.
P.P.S.S. Attention concert bookers: Menage a Twang + Rob Paravonian = music comedy heaven.

Well, they’re no O-Town (or DaVinci’s Notebook), but this Backstreet Boys laptop homage is a swell way to start the day.