September 6, 2012
Totally territorial on November 2, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
Recently I got to know a wonderful American guy over the Internet. We spent a while exchanging erotic e-mails while his then new girlfriend was out of the country. (In our defence, he was very unsure about the relationship with his girlfriend at the time, and I was foolishly convinced he was falling as deeply in love with me as I was with him).
His girlfriend came back to the US and they began to get closer. Then, he came over to Ireland on a sales conference and he and I actually met. We got on wonderfully and I really thought this was “it.” Notwithstanding the immense sexual tension between us, we didn’t do anything. I was glad of this, because he would have been a lesser guy than I thought he was if he had cheated on his girlfriend.
We discussed how inappropriate the erotic e-mails had been, and decided to go back to being just friends.
Here’s my quibble: we met on a Website bulletin board, which his girfriend has recently taken to frequenting. Now, she can read whatever she wants on this site, but I hate seeing her write in. I can cope with her in the realm of the theoretical, but really don’t want to read all about how she and he met and fell in love. I feel that she is straying into my turf, and am becoming increasingly territorial about it. (I should, of course, just not read the posts, but the masochist in me finds it hard to do).
Am I crazy, or is it understandable to have”our” Website, the way others have “our” tune?
And more to the point, can I/should I do anything about it?
Jealous in Ireland
BG’s response after the jump!
May 18, 2012
Getting extra-marital on October 12, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
I recently got married. I love my husband a lot, but I still feel a need to go out alone, without him, with some of my friends. Well, in particular, with one friend, who happens to be a man (a very gay man). I don’t like to bring my husband along when I go out with my friend, because my friend and I are very close, and having my husband along changes the dynamic a lot (my friend feels kind of uncomfortable around straight men, and the two of them don’t have a whole lot in common). The problem is that I feel that now that I’m married, it’s not really appropriate for me to be socializing without my husband. All this is made a lot more complicated by the fact that I’m very close to my friend–in some ways, I’m closer to him than to my husband. My husband isn’t thrilled about my relationship with my friend, but he tolerates it. The bottom line is that on some level, I feel like I’m cheating on my husband, but obviously, there’s nothing sexual between my friend and me. Am I just making myself feel unnecessarily guilty over this whole thing?
– Just Married
BG’s answer after the jump!
December 28, 2011
MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you can find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.
This week Lynn counsels a girl who swears she’s Just Buddies with her guy friends but worries about cheating
I have a few male friends that I talk to once every three to six months or sometimes longer. They suggest that we hang out sometimes, and they know that I am in a serious relationship. I feel like I will be somewhat cheating if I hang out with a male friend.
Is she over thinking things? Should she let these guys go? Read the full letter and Lynn’s response at Happen Magazine, then come back here to comment below.
December 13, 2010
MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. This Ask Lynn column is being promoted at Match on Yahoo this week…
This week we have the flipside of last week’s letter: Brian is dating a woman he met online and hasn’t taken his profile down — and now he’s being accused of cheating with another online dater…
Although I never asked Rita for a date or even for her phone number, I did talk with her about life, my personality and what I want in a relationship, etc. Now I find out that both of them are friends — and that I’m in the doghouse.
So, is he cheating? Should his girlfriend be concerned? Check out the full letter and advice, then add your two cents below!
October 22, 2010
This already-epic Predicament of the Week from April 27, 1998 actually includes three responses: One from Breakup Girl, a second from the mysterious “Guy at the End of the Bar” and then a rebuttal from BG…
Dear Breakup Girl,
This gets a little complicated, but bear with me, I’ll try to be succinct. “Ted” and “Carol” move into town, where they meet “Bob” and “Alice,” who are good friends of mine from college. All five of us quickly beome tight and hang out regularly. Inevitably the breakups happen. First Bob and Alice split. It’s long and drawn out. Then Ted and Carol split. It’s long and drawn out.
At this point Bob and Ted are living together as roommates and of course within a few months Carol and Alice become roommates. Then my girlfriend, “Millie,” goes away for several months. Carol and I hang out, a lot, and discover, ka-zaam, this wonderful connection. We don’t act on it, even though we both acknowledge it and talk about it. Finally in a defiant stupid drunken evening we do act on it. I feel like sh*t because I didn’t want to cheat on my girlfriend and we were both worried about all the possible ramifications from Ted, Bob, and Alice. So we agree not to be so stupid and forget about it.