Asking for it on June 1, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
1. During a discussion with one of my many platonic female friends, I mentioned that I’d seen a cute girl at the gym. Normally, when I see a woman that I want to meet, I strike up a conversation with her. As long as the lights are on, it doesn’ t matter to me whether or not she’s sweaty (within reason, of course). I guess what I’m saying is that I wouldn’t think twice about talking to a girl at the gym. My friend had said she wouldn’t date anyone she met at the gym; that she just goes there to work out and that’s it. What are your thoughts on this?
2. Whenever I read one of those “what do women look for in guys” type polls, “sense of humor” is almost always one of the top three qualities. Why, then, do so few women have a well-developed sense of humor? I’m sure they’re out there, but I’m not meeting them. Very few women can tell a good joke. And the ones that can are usually married. Why is that?
– Rocket from the Couch
Remember Sweaty Steve, he of the socially-crippling clammy-palmed hyperhidrosis? I’ve got a fantastic update for you, plus an equally fantastic shout-out we just received from a former super-perspirator. I offer both here with two caveats: (1) (spoiler!) finding a partner does not in itself equal success or happiness; in these cases, however, it was something these fellas both wanted and thought they could never have, and (2) as Wendy Shanker describes so eloquently in Are You My Guru?, while medical conditions may have psychological or psychosomatic components, that does not mean that all afflictions can be healed with some nice long walks and a change of attitude.
OK? First, from a fella named K., this spectacular portrait of HOPErhidrosis:
“I suffered the cranial version of this condition for about six years and let it turn me into an asexual recluse for most of my twenties, even leaving two jobs due to my supervisor’s apprehension over what impression it might give the people I interacted with (understandable, as I was a phlebotomist at the time and was told patients simply would not be comfortable having someone with sweat pouring down his face drawing their blood). Just about every decision I made in those years was influenced by the sweating more than any other factor. And I never found any correlation between the heavy sweating attacks and my activity level, temperature, liquid intake, etc. The only regular trigger was, the more social exposure, more sweat, but beyond that it would happen in any random setting, even walking alone on a cold night.
MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. This column, which previously ran at Happen, is being promoted at Match on Yahoo this week, so we are putting it back on our front page for comment.
This week Lynn hears from Sweaty Steve, whose hyperhidrosis (unusual sweat output) has put a crimp in his dating life:
The last time I went on a date with someone, we never made eye contact with each other and hardly talked because I was busy trying to hide my hands and checking my pits every time I went to the bathroom.
Does Steve need to deal with his nervousness, his condition, or both? See what Lynn has to say, then leave your own comments or encouragement below!