November 27, 2012
MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you can find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over atHappen now as well.
This week Lynn responds to Lisa, a girl who’s uncomfortable in her skin, to say the least:
I need to lose weight, at least 90 lbs… and I need to do so now. I have trouble accepting my weight and I get the feeling when I meet up with men from the Internet, it’s a big issue.
We all know it’s not that simple — to lose the weight or continue dating without the weight loss. Lynn gets to the heart of the problem, while offering practical suggestions in this weeks letter, which you can check out here. Agree? Disagree? Have your own story? Add a comment below.
October 11, 2012
Looking for help on November 9, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
First of all, I LOVE your column and read it all the time. Your advice is really sensible and that’s why I’m writing — I’m hoping you might be able to help me with this. You see, I see the problem, but the solution is far from sight.
I’m 22, a virgin, had a total of 2 boyfriends (one Internet one I never met) and have a real problem getting boyfriends. OK — or anyone (I believe myself to be Bi — but since I’ve never been with anyone — I’m not sure if you can count that). I finished college, have my BA in English, am not completely unattractive, have terrible self-esteem and about 20 years of mental and emotional abuse from my father, whose house I am still living in until I save enough to get my own place. No — I have not gotten therapy for this yet — I can’t afford it and I OBVIOUSLY can’t get my father to pay for it. My mom won’t pay for it either — and she’s perfectly aware of why I need it too. (I do have a job that pays well, but I still can’t afford an apartment, much less anything big like therapy.)
I know I need to get out of my house and meet friends and people off the net, but the opportunities never seem to come up. It’s only recently that my brother taught me to recognize when other men are really flirting at me, and only recently that I realized that I am possibly attractive to other people. I used to believe that I just needed a boyfriend so bad just to have some love in my life. I still kind of half believe it. My sense tells me that I have to give that kind of love to myself before I can expect anyone else to give it. It’s harder than it sounds and I am trying to work on it. It’s hard when I’ve spent so many years hating myself for being lazy, slow, fat, unmotivated and all the other things my father spent years telling me that I am.
January 3, 2012
Better off on September 7, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
Im 13 and probably about 10 pounds over weight. I was going out with this guy when i gained the weight, than he dumped me because he said I was too fat! But like the next week he started dating this other girl who (no offense) is a lot “bigger” than me. So when ( and if ) i lose the weight should I try to make up with him or just drop it?
— A Little Over the Top
Drop it. The boy, not the weight.
October 3, 2011
MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you can find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.
This week Lynn responds to a Jealous Girl whose boyfriend recently commented on the attractiveness of a friend of hers at a party before they started dating.
Over the three years that my boyfriend and I have been together, I’ve managed to put [30 pounds] on. I am feeling insecure about myself right now, and when he told me about his initial attraction to my friend before we met, it made me feel jealous and hurt my feelings.
Should boyfriends be finding other women attractive? How should Jealous Girl deal with her insecurity? Read the full letter at Happen Magazine, then post your own thoughts below!
September 28, 2011
Down and out on August 17, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
I’m attractive but overweight, therefore, no one even gives me a second look. Every time I meet someone in a bar, he’s “bar quality.” I don’t like church socials and I don’t have friends (they left with my last relationship). How do I start over?
— Where Can I Find Someone?
With an attitude makeover. In the meantime, I’ll try to get a cliche makeover. But it’s true. Look, BG will always readily acknowledge that often, in our boniness-is-next-to-goddessliness culture, the larger one is, the harder it is — paradoxically — for one to be/feel “seen.” BUT. Sounds to me like people do give you a second look. You do meet guys in bars; you just don’t like them. You had at least one relationship, which is actually more than a lot of “thin” people who write to me can say. I’m not saying you’re being ungrateful or not “looking on the bright side;” I’m just saying you might be projecting more than necessary of the dating angst we all have onto your own weight. And then what you’ve got is a big fat self-fulfilling prophecy.
September 9, 2011
Getting comfortable on August 10, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
My boyfriend and I started dating two years ago, and everything has been very good. We are both very athletic and enjoy running, etc. together. When we started dating, he had a great body. However, despite all the working out, his waistline has expanded greatly due to the his terrible eating habits. I have tried very hard to maintain my shape and have succeeded — which he is very happy about. I have known him for a long time and know that he has always had very high standards with respect to the bodies of the women he dates.
In any event, he has let himself go and I feel like he is taking me for granted. He told me that he has always been in great shape in between relationships and looking to date new people — but that he tends to gain weight when he is in one, because he gets “comfortable.” I know I sound superficial, but I feel as if he is being very hypocritical. He would be very unhappy if I had gained almost 20 pounds over the course of our relationship. On top of that, it is beginning to have an impact on my physical attraction to him. I have dropped hints, but nothing seems to work. How do I approach this subject with him?
BG weighs in after the jump!
September 6, 2011
Weighty issues on August 10, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
Okay. Here is my question. I am 17 years old and have had 2 boyfriends, but not for over a year. I would like a boyfriend for obvious reasons, but there isn’t really anyone out there who’s right for me. Also, I am wondering if weighing more than 140 pounds (chubby, but not obese, by any means) makes it harder to get someone. If I wait until college, when I will find the right guy? Will he want me? What will people think if I end up 30 and unmarried, 40 and unmarried…?
— Just Asking
Dear Just Asking,
I don’t know what people will think, but I do know that people who are 30 and unmarried, 40 and unmarried…just fell out of their seats over the fact that a 17-year-old asked that question. Oh, sweetie, please don’t worry; you are right on schedule. About the weight, well, the reality is that, yes, in the age of Kate Moss, it may be harder (at square one) for you to get someone. If you choose to shift to a lower-weight lifestyle for health and fitness, be my guest. But Muriel, don’t let me catch you dieting to fit into that wedding dress you saw in a magazine.
July 15, 2011
Still obsessing on July 20, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
I like the advice you gave to “Wondering” about the happy birthday card. I sent a birthday card to my ex on her birthday — I got no response and I was so pissed because I thought that was really big of me. At any rate, we haven’t talked in 14 weeks, (but who’s counting). My question is, how do I find out without calling directly, what’s up with her, if she’s seeing someone else, if she’s fallen off the face of the earth? Or should I just forget her?
Also, during the course of our relationship I gained fifteen pounds. I’m supposed to start Jenny Craig tomorrow. In my dreams I run into her totally coincidentally, I look fabulous and she’s with her ugly new flame.
Am I being totally delusional about this whole thing? HELP ME…..
BG’s answer after the jump! </strong>
September 7, 2010
A smart, funny, brave, and devoted pop culture acolyte, writer/comedienne/member of US Weekly Fashion Police (!!!) Wendy Shanker first won us over with her wise and witty 2004 book The Fat Girl’s Guide to Life, which explores the complex reality of being a healthy, plus-sized woman in a world that doesn’t always encourage self-acceptance.
Out today: Shanker’s new memoir Are You My Guru?: How Medicine, Meditation & Madonna Saved My Life, chronicles an intense eight-year period during which the author was diagnosed with a rare and debilitating autoimmune disease, Wegener’s granulomatosis. While holding down a demanding job, Shanker seeks relief and guidance from medical experts and healers representing a variety of traditions, from the hardcore pharmacological to the ancient Ayurvedic.
As Shanker begins to trust her own instincts about which therapies will work for her, she learns how to cope with the stresses of the disease and a hectic New York lifestyle — and discovers a thing or two about what it really means to heal. The narrative is laced with references to her ultimate guru, Madonna, as Shanker covers the topic of serious illness with the same forthrightness, attention to detail, and laugh-out-loud humor that made her first book such a refreshing read.
The delightful Shanker spoke with BreakupGirl.net about her memoir:
Who do you hope to reach with this book?
Um, Madonna. (laughs) I assume she’ll never even know it exists, but if it does cross her path, I hope she’ll get a kick out of it.
June 29, 2010
Next Page »
15 pounds = reason #23058 to adore Christina Hendricks:
“I guess my mom raised me right. She was very celebratory of her body. I never heard her once say, ‘I feel fat.’ Back when I was modeling, the first time I went to Italy I was having cappuccinos every day, and I gained 15 pounds. And I felt gorgeous! I would take my clothes off in front of the mirror and be like, Oh, I look like a woman. And I felt beautiful, and I never tried to lose it, ‘cause I loved it.”
From the July/August issue of Health. Via TheFrisky/HuffPo.
Tags: body image
, Christina Hendricks
, Health Magazine
, Joss Whedon
, role models
, TV crushes