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April 3, 2000   CONTINUED e-mail e-mail to a friend in need


Dear Breakup Girl,

I'm writing this to you not because I'm breaking up or broken up but because I'm thinking of asking my honey to marry me. I was just wondering if you could pat me on the back or possibly revise and give me some of your suggestions on this. I was thinking in a couple of weeks to rent a hotel room, doctor it up a bit with some killer lighting, getting some rose petals and scattering them about, renting a couple of movies and somehow, without looking like a total moron, popping the question. The only thing is that I want to make this really special so I thought what better place to come than to a woman for some life changing advice. Now that I think about it, what I had planned wasn't all that special so now I really need your help. Please help me, I'm lost as you can see. Thank you for your awesome advice.

-- Mike

Dear Mike,

Who-hoo! I'm all excited. Whatever you do, it should definitely involve Coney Island, the movie "Babe," and plenty of garlic.

Okay, that's just me.

And that's just the point. Aside from considering the good basic advice here, and the good specific advice here, the first question you need to pop is: "What would she appreciate?" See, Mikey, this is why I'm loath to give you the specific instructions you seem to want. There's no One "really special" way to do this. On the contrary, in fact. Tell me this: what's Really Special about your gal? And what does she like? Example: If she's not much of a mountain climber, don't bother concocting some "Highest Point of My Life" event. You know? Also remember that, in theory, there's as much to be said for hitting a familiar old place than a schmancy but no-built-in-meaning new one. Is there someplace she's always wanted to go? Something she's always wanted to do? Where did you meet -- could you go back there? Does she complain that in your busy lives, you never get a quiet evening at home, just you two? Follow her cues, and she'll follow you right down that aisle. Me, I'll just enjoy my snow-globe ring, here in the dark.

Breakup Girl



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