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Predicament of the Week
In which Breakup Girl addresses the situation that has, this
week, brought her the most (a) amusement, (b) relief that it is happening to
someone else, and/or (c) proof that she could not possibly be making this stuff
Dear Breakup Girl,
This one is about pets...not the existing ones
from broken families/relationships, but those that have yet to join one.
My fella and I moved in together a few weeks ago. Before the dust has even
settled he is talking about puppies. Not one, but two -- who will need a
lot of attention because they belong to a super-smart breed
that needs "work" and "things to do" like herding
sheep or small children. He already has them picked out and has committed to
the owner/guardian that he's taking them.
Ummm...without my really wanting them. We both work more than full-time, just
moved into a house, with a yard, I can barely keep the plants alive and don't
feel like he and I have much time together anyhow. Honestly, I don't really
want them or at least I'm not ready for them. Anyhow. He's agreed to train them,
not let them on the furniture, make sure someone can feed them when we leave
town and tried to allay my fears...but I still don't want them, at least not yet.
I've asked him to wait a bit 'til I didn't feel so overwhelmed with the move,
new town, new giant house with yard, and living with him and establishing a
new routine or to consider just getting one. His response was just that the
opportunity was presenting itself now and why can't I just accept them?
One note: we were having a rough time about six months ago. We were talking
about buying a house and living together but I kept bringing up how he wouldn't
tell me he loved me (and still won't). It
was something I needed before I made such a big step with him. He broke up with
me, bought a house on his own and then we got back together. I got evicted (new
owner wanted my flat) and it seemed logical to move in. So I still didn't get
my "I love you."
I'm so afraid that with any big decision where he doesn't get his way he's
going to push me away, do what he wants and then see what happens with us. I
don't know if I should let this play itself out and see what he decides, or
make a big issue about it now. It's already got me so steamed. He told his entire
family all about the new puppies he was getting at the mom's
day brunch we hosted on Sunday without batting an eye my direction.
Please answer quickly, these puppies are going to be ripe real quick and I'm
already scanning the apartment listings.
Scan away. Even if he knows exactly what he is
getting into with these dogs and will truly raise them right (which is an IF
the size of Marmaduke), it is not clear that he knows exactly what he's gotten
into with you. (Hint: A relationship.) Seems as if you've moved into
his house, on his terms (all but those "of endearment"). Please, sweetie,
train yourself to sniff out people who are kinder to humans.
PS Whenever/wherever you go, please print this
out and give it to him. May or may not have an effect, but BG might sleep a
PPS Herding small children?
PPSS Hi Sniffey!
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