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Dear Breakup Girl,
I need help on managing this "first-impression" thing. Often, when I meet
a guy with definite "potential," I slip into "standup comedy mode" in order
to appear, well, not so serious, even though I'd like to plant a wet one on
him. However, it seems to have gone to the extreme. I've seen expressions on
guy's faces that I've never seen anywhere, followed by an "I'd better get going..."
I can't seem to control my joking, though I keep my jokes clean. Should I just
get my mouth stitched up even though I have a cute smile? I'm 26; I haven't
got much time left. How can I better handle those first vital moments? I (and
the guys of the world) appreciate your help.
You "slip into standup comedy mode?" Welcome
to my nightmare.
No, really. It's funny: humor isn't always ... funny.
(Take, for example, those "consultants" who get called in to "inject
fun into the corporate environment" using googly glasses and whoopee cushions.
) Now, I'm not suggesting that you're unfunny, but I am suggesting that you're
just ... shy. That's right, shy. It's like,
"If I can just keep talking, I won't have to ... say anything!" You
know? And jokes, for whatever reason, come fastest and easiest.
What to do? Well, a while ago, I tried to train myself
not to say "um" and "you know" by forcing myself to subsitute
simply: silence. Just pausing briefly instead. It works pretty well. (Now I
use those words only for, um, humorous effect.) Maybe you could try the same
thing? Every time you hear your inner joker start to say "Uhh...knock knock!"
maybe substitute a conversation-forwarding question? Or that cute smile? Heck,
let the boy do some of the work, too.
Either that, or count on the fact that the one who's
right backatcha with The Funny is the one who'll turn into something serious.
Try not to worry. You, at 26, "haven't got much time left?" Now that's
funny. (Um, nervous laugh.)
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