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July 24, 2000   CONTINUED e-mail e-mail to a friend in need


Shoutouts for Steve, continued...

And from HB:

Almost 10 years ago, a balding 21-year-old housemate asked me: "Do you think bald spots are sexy?" And I'll tell Steve what I told him: "I think YOU'RE sexy, so if you happen to have a bald spot...well, I guess so. I don't find bald spots any more or less sexy than eyes, shoulders, hands, smiles, or any other body part. Individually, none of these things is a huge deal, but the whole package together...well, if the eyes and the smile and the voice and the shoulders and the general warmth weren't sexy enough, I suppose the bald spot wouldn't help. But since they are, it doesn't matter."

The balding 21-year-old is now 30 and even balder, but y'know what? He's also the sexiest, warmest man I've ever met, and the best husband, friend, and father I could've every imagined. And I'm a very, very lucky woman. And y'know what else? By now, most of our male friends are beginning to show some skin. Steve, I don't know you personally, and I don't know what it is about you that's ultimately going to ring some future sweetie's chimes. But, if a bald spot's the worst of your problems, well -- someday, for someone, something will. I don't mean to suggest that it's not difficult to attract romantic attention if you don't fit the prevailing standard of what's beautiful or handsome. I don't, either, and even now, this fact can occasionally be very painful. But y'know? Beauty wears off. It may make it easier initially to "start" a relationship, but it does little to "sustain" it ... and it fades over time. And 20 years from now, if you're already an old pro at using your sense of humor and listening skills and warm personality to make and keep friends (and Friends), while the town belle (or beau) just assumed that she'd always have plenty of friends and lovers because she's beautiful, well ... you'll be way ahead of the game.

For Steve from Maryann:

Shoutout to Steve (the guy who's worried about his baldness) : Patrick Stewart. Ohhh. 'Nuff said.

For Steve from Don't Care About Hair:

I have always thought baldness can be sexy. Case in point: Andre Agassi. But I know that citing famous bald hotties probably doesn't make all the "regular" bald guys out there feel any better--it's easy to make up for a lack of hair when you're rich and famous, right?

Well, maybe, but here's my evidence that it can be done without money and/or tennis lessons: My own wonderful boyfriend, who at age 27, is definitely losing his hair. As many balding guys are, he's quite sensitive about it, and Rogaine apparently doesn't work for his balding pattern. He's stuck with the truth that little by little, his hair is disappearing, and no one knows when (or where) it will stop. But he makes good-natured, self-effacing jokes about it and manages to laugh his way through something I know distresses him, which I find admirable and endearing. And he doesn't try to cover up the obvious with goofy comb-overs, wigs, or medical procedures. In my opinion, these maneuvers are more trouble than they are worth, rarely have the intended effect, and generally are a HUGE turnoff to women anyway, even if (and that's a big if) they actually look realistic. My boyfriend has found a hairstyle that works for him, hair loss or no. Basically, he doesn't dwell on his balding-ness. And I've never found him more attractive.

More Shoutouts for Steve...



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