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Dear Breakup Girl,

I am a woman in her late 30s, and I've never been married. I've been dating someone for six months and we've been spending a lot of time together (at his place).Things are mostly good except for the fact that he is a little controlling and a neat freak. He makes all the decisions in the relationship, has all the power, and is very touchy about money, especially when he spends any on me or because of me. I sometimes feel manipulated. Yet, at times, he surprises me. He's offered me to move in with him temporarily, so I can move out of my crappy apartment and save money to move in to a bigger one by next spring. It seems generous on his part except for one 20-pound problem: my dog.

He's never had her around, and I've had to keep her at my mom's. Except my mom's a little fed up of dog sitting .My boyfriend won't budge, saying the dog will lead to many fights and that his apartment is too small and he wants it spotless and clean. I love my dog and she's been faithful to me for ten years! But, I'm really crazy about this guy, and I'd like to spend my time with him, too.

Help! What other alternatives can you suggest? Moving in with him would really help me out, but I don't want to live without my dog.

-- Lucie

Dear Lucie,

I feel like The Fonz trying to eke out his admission, "I was wr--w--w--wro--wrong" when I say this, but, well..."Some people just d--d--d--do--don -- don'tlikedogs." I must be generous and noble about that. I must. I must. And verily, your boyfriend is allowed to not like your pooch or want his/her paws in his pad.

Now, if that were the only issue, I'd be tearing my fur out trying to figure out how you could keep both man and "best friend."

But lucky for me, unlucky for you, it's not the only issue. What's all this about "controlling," "manipulated," "he makes all the decisions," "touchy about money [he spends on you]?" How controlling? And/or is there a gumption shortage on your part (at least in your dynamic with him)? Or both?

See, the canine stalemate may or may not be part of this larger issue, may or may not be the doggie game piece in some sort of Control Monopoly he's playing; again, he could just n -- n -- not like dogs. Still, no matter what, there are larger issues. So before you plead pooch's case per se, look to see if you're stepping around some 200-pound Great Dane (i.e. rhinoceros head) in this guy's spotless living room. And if I were you, I'd sniff out these answers in separate apartments (he can't come to yours once in a while?!). To tell you the truth, I think I hear a big ol' can of worms being opened, so I cannot help but come skidding around the corner.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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Now that I look better, will I find someone I like better than my boyfriend?