Putting the "Age" in "Marriage"
We've been told we're too picky; we've
been told it's too late. But when I asked
how long you waited to get married, you* said, almost uniformly, "Not long enough!"
"I was delusional to think that by the age of 22 I was done
dating." -- Nicki
"I seriously thought, at 20, that I'd blow the curve, that
I was different from all those way-too-young kids getting married. Hah!"
"I was 19 when I married the first time...dumb move. But like a
typical teenager who thinks they know everything, I couldn't be told."
"I was 17 when I got married. I think that I was way too young
to take on the responsibility of being a wife and a mother." -- Katie
"I have been married for two and a half years -- since I was
18 -- and I feel like I'm 40." -- Heather
"I got married at 25 and divorced after five years. I wish
I could say I woke up one day and realized I could do better for myself on my
own. But it took the courage of an old friend who confessed
to having a crush on me for years and years to give me the courage
to take control of my life and take responsibility for my own happiness. Anyway,
I do wish I had waited until I was at least 30 to get married. I tell all my
younger friends that they should spend their 20s getting to know themselves."
Ah, but then there's Eliza: "My parents met in London when my mom was
22 and my dad was 21. He played guitar and had long hair and a Scottish accent,
and she wore sweaters and pleated skirts and spoke with a Virginia twang. They
had known each other only three months when they decided to get married. Then
my mother freaked out, called it off, and came back to America. Afer a few weeks
and a lot of letters from my dad, she shook it off and went back to England.
They finally got married at Town Hall on Bastille Day and went out for sandwiches
afterwards. They had known each other for six months -- last Friday was their
Delightful story...but from another time, another place (and one that makes
Eliza and her sister really freak out at the three-month
I know, of course, that there are kazillions of young (and married-young couples)
who still adore each other so giddily they couldn't even un-hug long enough
to write to me. But still. Add the above testimonies to a recent news flash,
and my women readers will get what I consider a vastly cautionary tale. According
to a recent CBS News/New York Times poll, married women prefer George W. Bush
45% to 37%, while unmarried women strongly prefer Mr. Gore to Mr. Bush, 57%
to 22%. So if it's all the same to you, would you mind waiting at least 'til
after November 8?
* only women responded, interestingly
Predicament of the week: Imaginary Boyfriends!