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Predicament of the Week
In which Breakup Girl addresses the situation that has, this
week, brought her the most (a) amusement, (b) relief that it is happening to
someone else, and/or (c) proof that she could not possibly be making this stuff
Special Announcement: Breakup Girl got into trouble last week.
First of all, let me just assert that one of the most
terrifying developments of the modern age has been the emergence of
mothers on the Internet.
It appears that Breakup Mom, who dutifully reads and
points out typos in this column every week, was not thoroughly convinced that
last week's Predicament
was adequately handled. (As she delicately put it, "It may have been a
funny joke, but you really blew her off.")
Had anyone else made this comment, BG would have said,
"Omigod, really? Let me attend to that right away!" But when B. Mom
said it, BG replied, "Oh yeah? I couldn't even follow the question. If
you're so smart, what would YOU have told her?!"
And B. Mom (who has had a lot more free time since BG moved out in 1986)
then promptly -- and, if I may add, brilliantly
-- explained the whole thing.
So now, BG, appropriately chagrined -- but this time,
not grounded -- offers this new, improved response to last week's featured
But no, you guys may not have B. Mom's e-mail address.
You still have to write to me.
Dear Breakup Girl,
I'm in a very complicated situation here... A guy friend and two girl
friends of mine are in this love-rectangle, if you can call it that.
Girl-friend-A thinks Guy-friend likes her, Guy-friend likes Girl-friend-B, and
sadly, I like Guy-friend. Girl-friend-B doesn't know that Guy-friend likes her
(at least I didn't tell her), but Girl-friend-A does now... and she doesn't
hang out with us anymore... since she's been telling everyone that she think
Guy-friend likes her... I personally can't stand him talking about
Girl-friend-B to me, thinking that I can help him out... and since
Girl-friend-A doesn't hang out with us anymore, I have become the unspoken
third wheel. On top of that, Girl-friend-B told me that she'll never go out
with Guy-friend, because she thinks of him as a brother, and she also likes
someone else. I know that she might just be saying that to shoot down the
topic, that she still might go out with him... but the way she's flirting with
the other guy makes it very believable that she won't go out with him.
The four of us were the best of friends before all of this has happened. And
now I'm dreading the future, when he tells her he loves her. What should I do?
And should I stop hanging out with Guy-friend and Girl-friend-B? Just because
of this? I don't want to lose this friendship. But I want to spare my own
feelings. Should I tell her that he likes her? Should I tell him that she
doesn't like him? Should I keep my big mouth shut, not hang out with them, and
find new friends? But they're one in a million. But it kills me just by being
with them. Seeing the way he looks at her...Why does love always get in the
Breakup Mom responds:
"What do I think she should
do, you ask???? Oy, yet another example of the perils of having an
Well, okay, the situation is simple. Once upon a time
there were four friends--3 gals and a guy. First gal decided, wrongly, that the
guy was interested in her and therefore dropped out of the foursome. Actually,
however, the guy is interested in a DIFFERENT one of the gals--the infamous
Girlfriend B. Letterwriter knows this because the guy has confided in her,
which makes Letterwriter sad because of course SHE is interested in the guy. To
make things worse, Letterwriter knows that Girlfriend B, the object of his
affection, is NOT interested in him at all and indeed has another
So Letterwriter is sad. Not only does the guy she
likes not return her affection, but she fears losing two good girlfriends. So,
Letterwriter asks, what should she do? Tell the guy of her feelings and
Girlfriend B's LACK of feeling? Tell Girlfriend B the truth? Tell the guy the
truth? Pretend none of this has happened and try to salvage the
Seems to me that the friendships, as they once were,
are already beyond repair, no matter what Letterwriter does. Things have
changed forever as love, or the lack thereof, has crept in. So Letterwriter
might as well chance it and fess up to Girlfriend B first, telling her that the
guy likes Girlfriend B, but that since Girlfriend B doesn't seem interested,
could Letterwriter try to
capture him. And then Letterwriter should fess up to the guy. If things don't
work out, Letterwriter's ego might get banged around, but it's bruised already,
and she's already in pain. Letterwriter might also lose two girlfriends, but
those relationships are already in jeopardy. If things DO work out, well there
you go. The point is, things are already in disarray, and there's no going
back--a sad reality that Letterwriter has to face. I'd just bring them to a
head and get things over with, one way or the other.
Breakup Mom has spoken."
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