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Dear Breakup Girl,
I am 15 and I have been best friends with Kristin since the sixth grade.
Last year she moved to the next town, where I have met all her new friends and
become very acquainted with them. One boy in particular really catches my eye,
Sherman. He had a relationship with a girl named Jessica who also lives in the
neighborhood but nothing went on beyond peck kissing. So they broke up cuz
Sherman wasn't "gettin any" and then they suddenly became so intense
and began being really touchy-feely. Jessica, being a snot-nosed little tease,
tells everyone she wants to sleep with Sherman but won't even kiss him so she
won't appear to be a slut.
Anyways, so one week I went to Kristin's house and Sherman and I kept
stealing those little "looks" at each other. One lucky evening I was
fortunate enough to grab a moment outside on the front porch with Sherman. I
told him I thought Jessica was a tease and that he should drop her, to which he
replied that he was planning on it. He asked me if I had a boyfriend back home
to which I replied no and then we got into this big long convo about what we're
looking for in the opposite sex. SOOO... I was sure something was going to
happen out there on the porch but JESSICA opened the door and asked Sherman to
come in and watch a movie with her.
The few nights after were the same as the first few, staring, twirling hair,
brushing elbows... blah blah blah... then I went home.
Sherman and thoughts of him didn't leave my mind once since then, and the
week after that he told Jessica he wanted to be friends with her. Then that
night for some strange reason they ended up in their usual position, lying next
to each other on Kristin's bed watching another movie... snuggling...
Anyways, so now Jessica is talking about how she is so scared Sherman will
leave her and how she might sleep with him so he won't, but everyone knows she
won't do anything. Sherman is obviously under some kind of spell because
otherwise he would've forgotten about Jessica, that's just the kind of guy he
What I'm wondering is if
a) Sherman has the hots for me
b) I should do something about it and
c) how I should go about it.
ANSWER ME PLEASE.
c) Not applicable.
Look, I don't know what Sherman and Jessica's real
deal is, but they're obviously together -- on Kristin's bed, if not on official
public record. And for you, that means: no poaching. If they really really
break up, then we'll talk. Now.
d) I am going to give a speech that you didn't ask
for. First of all, I am sick sick sick of girls who have sex being
"sluts" and boys who have sex being "boys." And girls who
only peck being "teases." MAYBE THEY ARE DOING ONLY WHAT THEY FEEL
COMFORTABLE WITH, END OF STORY. And/but then they talk a big game because of
the coolness and pressure and popularity and everyone's-doing-it factors.
What-EVER. Click here
for further ranting.
Beyond that, you are all Way Too Young to be tossing
around terms like "sleeping together," whether or not you are
actually doing it (P.S. Don't). Lisa, I don't know what your own history is;
that's beside the point. I'm just saying that all y'all's casual tone about
this matter gave me the wow-times-have-changed willies. I KNOW I sound like a
dumb old grownup. But hey, most 30-year-olds are way too young to be doing it,
too. We are all messing with fire. It's not about being Good or doing what is
Right. It's this: do not underestimate how complicated sex makes things
emotionally, not to mention how UNFUN sex is when things are that complicated.
Look how much of an issue sex is in this whole thing already, and, presumably,
Jessica hasn't even done it! I am not asking you to be a kid and [not] do it
"because I said so;" I am asking you to be a grownup and trust me on
this one. Now go find some guy in your town who wants to go out with you
because he gets: a cool girlfriend. Not: "some."
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