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Dear Breakup Girl,

Help me! I am a 41 year old divorced woman who had a whirlwind long-distance romance with the man of my dreams. I met him at a concert, he was the drummer of the band. He was a once-famous musician from England, and we managed to meet after the concert and we began a romance for 1 1/2 years. I fell head over heels in love, lust or something that was pretty powerful. When he suddenly dashed out of my life and stopped calling me, I was devastated. It's been 8 months now, and I'm obsessing over him every day. It is starting to drive me crazy. I pridelessly sent him an e-mail a few months ago, in hopes of getting some closure (or re-opening). No response. I miss him so much. But what do I miss? Is it him, his incredible body and well-endowment, his celebrity status, his English accent, or all of the above. I can't seem to accept that he just "dumped' me, without a reason or a goodbye. How can I heal? Help!!

-- Cynthia

Dear Cynthia,

Here's what you're missing: him, his incredible body and, um, well-endowment, his celebrity status, his English accent; the thrills and chills of a long-distance romance (with a Band Guy!); a reason "why," a proper "goodbye." Also, the lucid sense that it is thus normal to obsess about this to some degree -- even to have some twisted high-drama fun doing it. And also, some solid other stuff in your life to balance it all out. How's your job, your friends, your family, your living situation, your shakra? If they're all pretty steady (and if -- if you like -- you write yourself an email about why he bailed; just make it up and consider it as true and right as anything you'll otherwise hear), then your life will indeed march along even as your obsession does the proverbial repeat and fade. I'll spare you the pun about a different drummer.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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