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Dear Breakup Girl,
I'm what you might call a "late bloomer." I'm a 28 year old guy, and still
have never had a girlfriend. It's not that I never wanted one; it's just that
as a nerd, I always have had a hard time getting a date with a hot chick. They
always seem to prefer the athletes to the thin guy (well, now I have love
with thick glasses.
Well, out of desperation, I signed up for a dating service. So far I have
met several women, each for exactly one date. I suppose this is what you get
when you randomly pair up people. I don't feel ripped off because I knew that
this was the chance that I was taking.
Do you have suggestions as to where to meet the woman of my dreams? I've
racking my brain for good ideas:
1) Work: forget it. Very small company, nobody interesting.
2) Grad school: just finished it. Only married girls in the classes.
3) References from friends: they ask me if I know of someone worthwhile.
4) Health club: haven't met anyone there.
5) At prayer: I'm not religious, and I'm not that desperate yet. Maybe I should
just go to a bar and use stale pickup lines?
6) At a VW dealership?
That said, will someone please tell me WHERE I
just saw a celeb pic of some rock star wearing -- and living -- a T-shirt that
said something like "Chicks Dig Pasty Skinny Guys" ...? Okay, I know
the keywords there are "rock star," but let me give you two more:
"Woody Allen." It is so not hopeless.
That said, when it starts to feel that way, it sorta
starts to get that way. Keyword: "desperation." I can't stop anyone
from feeling that way, Lord knows, but do do a vibe check. If every gal you
one-date gets the sense that you're trolling madly and exclusively for the
chick" "of your dreams, well, that's when you wind up ripping
The key, as I've said a billion times, is to vault
bad self onto the Flirtation Continuum, where no one venture is the be-all --
well, end-all -- of your love life as you know it. It's a little zing, all the
time. Let's revisit:
To maximize your returns, you need to diversify your
portfolio. Meaning: don't just answer personals, don't just go to "events,"
don't just join groups/clubs, don't just ask friends to set you up, don't just
sit home alone and watch Point Break, again. Do a little of everything. Or
what I mean is "do everything you do a little more." With a heightened sense
of awareness. Whatever you do, you do 100% for you. Then tack on a bonus 10%
wherein you look out for a mate for you. In other words, you are there at the
museum to see the art, period (100%); also, who's that hottie by the Hopper
(110%)? That third eye is what will get you your first date. It's also what
spots one-step-removed opportunities. "Did somebody say kayaking? I've
always wanted to try that." "You're going where? Yum, let's get a
bunch of people together." "Here, let me help you with that."
I spy: a chance to branch. This way, you meet Hannah ... and her sisters. And
when you're ready -- as in ready, set, bloom -- take your pick.
PS: I don't get #3. What's that about your friends?
they not being nice to you? The FC will help with that, too.
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