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November 1, 1999 e-mail e-mail to a friend in need


Breakup Girl's alter ego is going to have to start dressing for work ... for two reasons. The first is here, in case you've not heard. Who-hoo! The second is, well, there too. Meaning that this new office/studio is located right smack upstairs from the Chelsea Market, a "Chowder and pumpkins and bread, oh my!" paradise that makes going to work like getting through that tunnel in The Princess Bride, only yummy.

What's the food-based fashion crisis? For one thing, let's hope that elastic waistbands are on their way back into style. But more important, aren't markets supposed to be where you meet people? MEETmeet people? See, this presents an important opportunity, due to the only mediocre power of the other two legendary singles meccas: (1) weddings: perhaps more ignominious than relegation to the Singles Table is the fact that there no longer remain enough singles to fill same; and (2) laundromats: when one's fortunate enough to have a washer and dryer, doing one's wash "out" could be considered "trying too hard." Of course, given the prevalence of corner bodegas, delivery, and diets, it's not clear that anyone in NYC actually shops for food in the first place. But still. Gotta look sharp; to market, to market. Awww, yeeaaah.



Dear Breakup Girl,

I am 16 and an assistant manager at a local grocery store. There is this new girl that I really like. She is a new cashier and 14 years old. I am her boss. I have talked to her a couple times, and I really like her. I don't know if she likes me. I am a sweet and nice guy -- or so my girls that are friends say -- and I don't want to compromise anything at work by asking her out to dinner or the movies and getting rejected. I am scared that she will say no.We live in different towns and don't go to the same school. Please help! I don't want to be rejected.


Dear Bill,

Attention, grocery shoppers! Sometimes you might think that no one likes you, when really someone does and is just afraid -- so far -- to say so.

And attention, Bill: fearing rejection is so totally normal. Heck, I wouldn't want you to date anyone who didn't give you that fluttery feeling. Plus I understand that you've got butterflies in bulk since you've got to face each other across that scanner no matter what happens.

Now I'll even toss in a few more: remember that you're her boss. I can't picture you coming across as if you're pressuring her, but do be mindful of the fact that she might be all, "Wow, jobs in this town are hard to get. I can't get in the habit of saying no to my boss, about anything ... ". So, as if you didn't feel awkward enough already, you might want to follow up your invite with a hasty: "I want to let you know that -- especially as far as your job is concerned -- whatever you say is totally fine by me." And then act that way no matter what she says. You're the boss: be ultra-professional on the job all the time. Thing about risks is, you can't get rejected -- or promoted -- without taking them.

Breakup Girl



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