Pining on December 14, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I dated this girl in high school for 2 years. We were deeply in love but we broke up under stressful circumstances. Let’s just say we got in trouble with the law, and we split up. Well, it has been about 6 months since and we are at different colleges now. We have recently been talking on the phone and we have put all the bad things in the past. She is now dating someone, but she tells me it isn’t serious, which I believe because she has known him for like a month. I have dated around some but I am still in love with her, and her roommate tells me she is still in love with me and she talks about me all the time. When I see her next at X-mas I want to tell her how I feel and try to get back together with her. Can you help me figure this out or do you have any advice for me?

— Matt

Dear Matt,

Oooh, was she the Mousketeer? No, wait, you’re too young. Also, Christmas is too late. If you’re going to tell her how you feel, do it now (phone is fine), before they’ve been going out for much more than a month — and before they seal a de facto deal with a misty, mistletoey winter- break goodbye. Yes, poaching will get you in trouble with BG Law, but the loophole here is that Major Relationship Severed Mostly by Circumstance trumps One-Month Something-or-Other.

Hope things work out. And no more, like, crime, okay? If anything, what you should get in trouble with next is the distance.

Love,
Breakup Girl