March 9, 1999
Gregoire here, about to dispel a horrible rumor: supermodels can read and write, or at least they love to have sex with people who can. I keep at hand a loyal cadre of law students -- a team of hot lawyers is a gossip's most powerful weapon -- to inform me when I'm being a little, let's just say, extreme. One of my sources from Fordham Law School in New York informs me that his torts classes have recently been tarted up by the presence of none other than the lovely Tyra Banks. Has Miss Banks flung her modeling career off the runway? Dear God, no. Seems she fancies a hunky law student so much that she actually goes to a class or two with him. I didn't find out whether the mannequin actually studied along with her stud -- to help him with midterms, you know, make flash cards -- or was simply distracting all the potential attorneys in the room with her goofy, sexy giggles.
Doing the French
Speaking of goofy and sexy, Mira Sorvino is getting disgustingly snuggly with her new boy, French actor Olivier Martinez. Sorvino -- an Oscar winner who, curiously, has never made a single good movie -- shares an apartment with the actor when in Paris. Now she's visiting him in Texas, of all places, on the set on his latest film. Sorvino, of course, has made some improvements in taste since her lengthy affair with Quentin "Eeeeuuww" Tarantino. If Martinez's name sounds familiar, you may remember him from such relationships as Juliette Binoche, another Best Supporting Actress winner. I understand what Martinez is going through; Best Supporting Actress winners are bugging the hell out of me, too, calling me up, knocking at my door, asking me out for brunch, trailing me to class. Girls, upgrade from "supporting," then we'll talk.
Gods And Monsters And Cheating Husbands
Speaking of Supporting Actresses, Lynn Redgrave, up this year for Gods And Monsters, is filing for a rather messy divorce from her husband of 32 years. Seems her hubby was having an affair with his personal assistant and fathered the woman's lovechild. And when did her husband decide to come clean? During Thanksgiving dinner. Lynn, we're with you here, love, dump the creep. I do find this to be an unpleasant -- yet convenient -- turn of events, as the Oscar ballots just got mailed last week and voters love a sympathy vote. Coincidence?
Speaking of illegitimate love children, Reese Witherspoon is carrying Ryan Phillippe's bundle. The two, who currently star in Cruel Intentions, apparently fell madly in love during filming, despite the fact that Ryan plays a man bent on "spoiling" Reese. (I'm pretty sure Breakup Girl would have something to say about marrying a man who is trying to destroy you on film.) Since these two actors are barely out of Pampers themselves, I can't say I'm too thrilled at this little insta-family. Baby's due in September. Hopefully their careers will last as long.
Straight Talk About Keanu and Leonardo
I'm going to just forget about all those "alternative lifestyle" rumors surrounding both Keanu Reeves and Leonardo DiCaprio and hand you these two little tidbits, presumably spawned by somebody's overworked PR people. Key-yawn-ew was recently spotted at an L.A. rock club recently, relentlessly trying to pick up a woman. The woman told the Speed queen that she was married and wasn't interested. (Keanu, aren't you married too? What will David think?) He then proceeded to follow her into the bathroom and -- get this! -- fashioned for her, out of toilet paper, an origami swan. Unfazed by this 2-ply gesture of passion, the woman still snubbed him. Keanu is reported to have called her "the meanest woman I've ever met." Wow! Meaner than Faye Dunaway?!
Meanwhile, Leonardo, who is in Thailand making The Beach, can't burp without international coverage. On top of the $45 million lawsuit against him and the recent incident with a break-in stripper, rumors are also circulating the backwaters that the girlie actor is currently seeing hot French actress Virginie Ledoyen. (Taking cues from Mira, I see!) One rather suspicious report even claims that the actress is carrying his child. Since I'm not even sure Leo knows how to have sex with a woman, I highly doubt this report. (I know, I know, you're all "Leo's not gay! How do you know that?!" Let's just say that before his superstardom I used to see Titanic Boy in certainh places unfit for an "ultra-suave ladies man". Then again, Gregoire was there, so go figure.)
When I stopped by the Studio Apartment Of Justice to deliver my report, Breakup Girl informed me she had seen actor Steve Buscemi strolling nearby (very early in the morning, while she was on her way to the gym) (she would like me to note). No surprise, as the oddball actor lives just a few blocks away from BG HQ. How do I know this, you wonder? A romantic companion of mine -- for the sake of anonymity, let's call him Keanu, no, Leonardo, no, Reese -- happened to live upstairs from Buscemi and his family in an adorable brownstone. He was always very swell when I saw him, and we even hung with his entire family during a Fourth Of July celebration. Oh, but the stories I could tell! But of course, my lawyers and Tyra Banks tell me to keep them to myself.
Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb