November 5, 1999
"I'M SO HAPPY YOU FAILED." Laptop's new sour-pop import single said it; BG didn't. Check out the mad cool multimedia CD!
"ACT LIKE A LADY!" -- Sen. Jesse Helms to Rep. Lynne Woolsey, who, with her colleagues, sought to meet with him regarding the United Nations Convention to End All Forms of Discrimination Against Women. At least he's consistent. (He's fluent with words like "floccinaucinihilipilification," but with "irony," not so much.)
THE TUPPERWARE THEORY OF RELATIONSHIPS. Advanced by Alison Hannigan and friend in this month's CosmoGirl: "You can have all this mismatched Tupperware and lids, but you can never get them sealed quite right. That one edge always keeps popping up. It's supposed to fit, but it rarely does. You've gotta try a few lids before you find the one that actually snaps." Store brownies inside until then, Bradster.
TEEN PREGNANCY DOWN. The NCHS reports that girls 15 to 17 have the lowest birth rate in 40 years; much of the decline is ascribed to increased use of birth control. Yeah, but kids -- like Lisa -- are still having sex waaaaay early. So are most 30-year-olds, but anyway.
HOME COMFORTS. More about survival than style, this don't-call-her-Martha's guide to The Art and Science of Keeping House includes, among many other things, "a skeptical discussion of the excessive use of disinfectants in the home." Which makes me think that Breakup Mom will send the anti-Potter people after her, too.
Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb