December 24, 1999
CHRISTMAS WITH BUCK OWENS. Bah, honkytonk. The crooner of possibly the best breakup song ever -- "Who's Gonna Mow Your Grass?" -- brings us "Santa Looked a Lot like Daddy" and other less-than-holiday-cheerful country classics.
LOVETEST. The Spark is back with its first truly interactive test, which will not only give you your romantic profile, but will also match your results with other test takers. I'll have you know that BG got a Love Rating of 75% (25% Lust and Sexual Greed) and only 1 wedge of discontent on my wheel of desperation. Match that!
SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW MILLENNIUM. Marriage planners and experts say that immense demand for wedding venues in the year 2000 has caused spillover into the next. I mean, that's why I'm waiting.
YOU CAN SEE THE FOREST. Having secured a pledge from Pacific Lumber to spare three acres of redwoods, Julia "Butterfly" Hill has climbed down from the tree she called home for 738 days, hauling supplies via pulley. Now don't tell me you've been having trouble meeting people.
HEATHER HAS TWO MOMMIES...AND ONE GREAT WARDROBE. Check out these PC and CP (cutie patootie!) designs for dessing kids with pride.
YOUR ONLY HOPE IS FOX TELEVISION. Turns out you can see them: Watch this space for news of Fox's Buckaroo Banzai series.
R.I.PEANUTS. You were a good man, Charles Schulz. As is our own Chris, winner -- way back when -- of the Charles Schulz Award for the nation's most promising college cartoonist.
Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb