True Friends & Family Antidotes
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Recasting Your Holidays
By swapping friends for family, other traditional holiday events could also
be transformed from only-at-guilt-point events into actual fun. Invite those
friends and friends of friends over for a gingerbread
house warming party. Don some beer hats and head out for a night of carol
Go find out who's been naughty or nice with a visit on the knee of the nearest
mall Santa. Take a parade of cars out to get Christmas Trees. Volunteer
at your favorite charities. Build a snowman -- unseasoned Westcostians can head
to the beach and erect a sandman. String an obscene
number of lights around your friends' houses. (BONUS: Wait til they're out
of town... surprise!)
Santa's Got a Brand New Bag
Of course if ye olde yuletide events are too kitschy for you (or, more likely,
your family has already claimed them), you and your friends might have to invent
your own, unique holiday traditions....
all your friends bring their most highly recommended exes (perfect for anyone
else besides themselves)! Serve Dos Equis! Dance to the seminal music
of X! Give out prizes (X-Men action figures? Tapes of early X-Files episodes?)
found with X-marks-the-spot treasure maps! Party to the X-treme!
Jewish? Not Jewish? Whatever! Who doesn't love the
idea of eight straight days of hot movie action? Dim the lights (well, not all
of them), pop the corn, and roll out the barrel with "Hard
Eight." Follow that up the next night with "Magnificent
Seven." Then "The
Sixth Sense," "Fifth
Weddings and a Funeral," "Three
Kings," and "Breakin'
2: Electric Boogaloo." Finish things off with something nice and upbeat,
like "One Flew Over
the Cuckoo's Nest" or "One-Eyed
Jacks." Or just pick flicks
you like better.
The Big Kiss Off
With mistletoe in every doorway, this is the adult version of a makeout
party. Serve chocolate kisses, tongue sandwiches, and french fries. Set
up a kissing booth, wear your favorite "Kiss the Chef" apron, rock
and roll all night with the musical stylings of Kiss. And don't forget to seal
those invites with lipstick smacks.
Re-wrap those super-dud gifts and saddle your friends with them. After all,
misery loves company. (Misery and Company, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!)
Then save whatever new albatross you wind up until next year, when it'll be
the ideal gift for the person who gave you this year's lemon.
Inspired by the pub crawl, this is a fantastigreat event for those of you with
friends who live within walking distance. Start with mulled wine at your house,
move on to the next place for cider, then end the night with frothy eggnogs
at someone else's pad (because when
the barfing begins, you'll want them as far from your house as possible).
You Say You Want a Resolution?
The evening starts off as an ode to vices: Everyone is heartily encouraged to
indulge in their worst habits. But at midnight, you all put up $20 and share
your resolutions for the year to come -- to quit
smoking, join (and actually go to) a gym,
whatever. Whoever sticks to their resolutions the longest wins the pot at next
Finally, this year, you can have what you really want. Sparkly lights, tasty
beverages, and witty banter with someone who just might be God's gift to...
you. Smile through your grandmother's badly candied yams knowing that friendship
and flirtation are just around the corner (three friend events per exposure
to the relatives is the ideal ratio).
And, with some careful family planning, you just may make it to the new year
Evany Thomas, whether stuffing turkeys or stockings, is the very picture
of holiday cheer. Last time out, she wrote about the almighty cup
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