Champagne... Before It's Time!
by Asher Hung
I swear I don't have OCD. But I have been cleaning obsessively since
the slightly warmer weather has hit. The usual stuff--tending to the progeny
of my pet dust bunnies, reevaluating my bed's most auspicious direction
on the ba-gua trigram, realphabetizing the CDs and taking stock of those
things with which I should be well stocked.
No, I don't celebrate engagements, promotions, birthdays or website launches
on a weekly basis, but I have heard a nasty little rumor that demands immediate
attention. Word is that come New Years there will be a shortage of champagne.
Meaning that if you like to wait to last minute like I normally do, you'll
either be toasting with Martinelli's or paying Cristal prices for a bottle
of 1999 Swill Reserve when the ball drops.
Currently, an in-store display for Moet shows a 2001-like black monolith
bearing one word: Prepare.
My oenophilic friends and relatives say don't worry and that it's all a
big marketing scheme. I say God forbid they're wrong.
So what should you buy? Check out the big ones at www.korbel.com,
they pilfered their Haiku contest from Breakup Girl),
As for the debate about the best glass with which to drink champagne
(saucer or flute?): I always say flute. I believe it does make the bubbles
last just a little bit longer.
Also, when storing wine or champagne, find a nice, dark, cool place.
Some say that a lack of humidity can dry out the corks, so don't put it
next to your heater vent. If you're really buying in quantity, a corner
in a closet or the space under your bed (now situated for proper flow of
Ch'i!) can be quickly transformed into your personal wine cellar.
There are a lot of questions and personal tastes to define before you
pop your cork, so why not invite your friends over for a champagne tasting?
Have everyone bring a bottle of their favorite or something they haven't
tried before. It's also nice to have some people just bring hors d'oeuvres.
Lots of your closest friends may be planning millennium trips to see family
or Incan ruins, so this may be your only chance to celebrate with all the
people you'd really love to toast. And if you've got a few bottles of Veuve
Cliquot Reserve, you're invited.
So. My advice for the new millennium: Go buy a yourself a case. Just
Asher Hung, who picks colors and typefaces by day, has never had a caviar dream.
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