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December 24

Picture This!

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:30 am

Classic LetterA photo opportunity on December 29, 1997

Dear Breakup Girl,

I really like this guy and I’ve asked him out before but he never answered. Other people have told him that he should go out with me but he never gave them an answer either. I am the only one of his friends who received a large picture of him for Christmas; everyone else got wallet-size. I feel all special — but I don’t really know how he feels and I don’t want to ask him out again because I don’t want to lose him as a friend. Please help!

— Nichole

Dear Nichole,

Breakup Girl is unfamiliar with — but intrigued by — this practice of giving photos of yourself as Christmas presents to people who are not your grandparents. I’ll trust you when you say that it’s possible to measure someone’s feelings for you in terms of surface area. But since he has not leapt at several obvious chances to go out with you, Breakup Girl wonders, gently, if the thousand or so words that that picture is speaking might go something like, “I know you like me but I really just think of you as a friend. I feel bad about that — and I do think you’re special — so I want to make it up to you and show you that by giving you a larger photo than everyone else.” See? So let him know you appreciate the photograph (don’t tell him it’s under your pillow), and focus on the friendship. If something more is meant to develop, it will.

Breakup Girl


December 23

Ex-Mas Party

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:17 am

Classic LetterMore fruitcake from December 29, 1997

Dear Breakup Girl,

I thought my girlfriend broke up with me last week. She said, “I’m not comfortable with the term ‘boyfriend and girlfriend.'” I was really bummed, it being right before Christmas and all. Then when I called her to cancel plans for a party arranged a long time ago, she said she still wanted to date…What is going on?

— John

Dear John,

What is going on is that girlfriend wants to have her fruitcake and eat it too. Apparently, the term she’s really not comfortable with is “alone.” She may not want to be committed to you, but she also doesn’t want to go stag to that party. Now, some couples (or semi-couples) do manage to have it both ways, but only when a “casual” thing is officially okay with both of them. If that doesn’t work for you, tell her you’re not comfortable with the term “just dating.” Either way, get to the bottom of it, communicate, straighten things out. As you now know, the most uncomfortable terms are “uncertain.”

Breakup Girl


December 22

RE: Gifting

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:21 am

Classic LetterLet’s wrap on December 29, 1997…

Dear Breakup Girl,

What should I get my boyfriend for Christmas? We have been only going out for a month but we are serious.

— Michelle

Dear Michelle,

Well, missy, if you’ve been going out for only a month, then Breakup Girl knows this guy about as well as you do. But your letter does highlight a common problem: meeting someone just before a major gift-giving holiday. There’s also the less common (but perhaps more serious) problem of meeting someone just before a non-gift-giving holiday, and giving him something anyway — planting a tree in his honor on Arbor Day, for example.



December 19

Nice and naughty

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:46 am

Classic LetterVirgin/merry from December 29, 1997

Dear Breakup Girl,

This Christmas I’ve been naughty AND nice. Two problems plague this romantic heart. I’ve been “nice” and supportive of an internet friend for two years now, the shoulder and the punching bag through thick and thin and foggy. We’ve met, declared long distance love on the eve and morn of our virginity, and been hunky-dory up till the twelve days before Christmas. But now the stuffing in my stocking is in another the-world-hates-me spin. My patience wears thin.

Now your favorite, the “naughty.” She’s 17, I’m 26 [you sigh here]. Girlfriends have been very rare on the granted end of my wish list (see: 26, virgin until recently) and the charm of this first girl only just began to wear thin/thick. Until now it’s been two kindred souls gulfed only by age and distance. I know my patience will be rewarded if I can only get back into the spirit of past, present and future, but it’s so difficult sometimes loving someone through monosyllables and gloomy glums. Time and experience will solve our yule-tide blues, but what can this elf do in-between seasons?

— Mikey Pooh in Missouri



December 18

A more special Muppet Christmas special

Filed under: Comedy,TV — posted by Chris @ 8:55 am

We here at breakupgirl.net are big fans of the Muppets. Consciously or unconsciously their particular brand of humor — innocent-yet-smart, never mean, and not afraid to be dorky — has influenced the adventures of Breakup Girl. Last night, after watching the newest Muppet Christmas special, Letters to Santa, on NBC, I watched the first Muppet Christmas special, on YouTube. The Great Santa Claus Switch was a special episode of the Ed Sullivan Show (putting it in legal limbo and unavailable on home video) produced in 1970 just as Sesame Street was taking off, and some jolly old soul has posted the hour show in six parts on YouTube.

Bonus! The music is by Joe Raposo; And look for the first appearance of Gonzo The Great (as Snarl the Frackle).


December 17

Target Women: Jewelry

Filed under: Comedy,TV — posted by Chris @ 9:30 am

If you haven’t been paying attention, Current TV, Al Gore’s user-generated news channel (“cable access for wonks”), has begun interrupting its endless stream of QuickTime clips with something called “tv programs” — so last century! Not that we’re complaining; One such foray into less-new media is infoMania, a collection of satirical bits by regular contributors (Daily Show-meets-YouTube) which has given us the lovely Sarah Haskins. Her Target Women series skewers how the media reaches out to women, and her newest target is holiday Jewelry commercials:

Target Women: Jewelry

There’s nothing that says “I love you” to a woman like a diamond. Nope, not even the words “I love you.”


Little sister auctions brothers online

Filed under: News — posted by Chris @ 8:50 am

We here at breakupgirl.net are not generally supportive of looking for dates on CraigsList–and certainly not the kind you have to pay for–but here’s an opportunity that’s a little different:

In order to raise some cash for Xmas gifts, Kristen Walters of Austin, Texas is auctioning off a date with her hot twin brothers! Kristen can’t babysit or mow lawns because of her muscular dystrophy, so she had to get creative. Big brother Rob was eager to help, and Ryan reluctantly agreed, reports News 8.

The auction ends Friday, and the date would be Saturday night. One brother is a web developer and the other is a firefighter–something for everybody! The bid is currently $300.

(Breakup Girl’s New Year’s Resolution: Must use power of the internet to enable hot sibling redistribution.)


December 10

Ex-Mas Cards

Filed under: Advice,Holiday — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:19 am

Classic LetterA Christmas conundrum from December 16, 1997

Dear Breakup Girl,
Thanks for being there at just the right time. My boyfriend of 5-1/2 years just broke up with me a week and a half ago. In Christmases past, I’ve been used to sending and receiving cards to/from “K & P.” Now I’m dreading the fact that I have to somehow tell all of these people that he and I are no longer together (when it was generally assumed that we would be together forever). It still hurts to talk about it…how can I tell people about us without making the whole card thing a big bummer?
— Just K



December 8

Help for the Holidazed

Filed under: Advice,Holiday — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:06 am

The winter holidays can be a tough time of year whether or not there’s a dependent Claus in your life. It’s hard to be single at Yuletide, because for one thing, you have to hear your parents say things like, “Won’t your friend be joining us this year?” and “Well, did you sit with anyone interesting on the train?” and “Are you sure you have a good dermatologist?” It’s also hard to be in a couple at the holidays, because it’s … expensive. What to do? How much to spend? Where to kiss? What is wassail? Here’s Breakup Girl’s mini-FAQ…

Should I buy my new boyfriend/girlfriend a holiday present?

Ah, a common problem: meeting someone just before a major gift-giving holiday. (There’s also the less common — but perhaps more serious — problem of meeting someone just before a non-gift-giving holiday, and giving him something anyway — planting a tree in his honor on Arbor Day, for example. )

So here’s the rule of thumb: at the early stage, your presents should not be commanding. In other words,
DO: pick up a little something sweet, warm, or fuzzy — chocolate, mittens, dice — that says “Hey there, I think you’re kinda sweet, warm, and fuzzy.”
DON’T regale him with anything time-consuming, grand, or intimidating — a ten-course dinner, a romantic weekend at a B&B, a mortgage — that says “Sit here, stay here, sign here.” Give someone new that kind of Christmas gift, and I give your relationship, oh, 12 days.



December 2

Lords-a-leaping lizards!

Filed under: News — posted by Chris @ 10:58 am

According to PNC’s “Christmas Price Index” which tracks the cost of all the items from the “The Twelve Days Of Christmas” song, true love will cost you $86,609 this year, up almost 11 percent.

Golden rings, French hens and geese-a-laying are down, but maids-a-milking and swans-a-swimming are way up in cost. Lords, pipers, and drummers kept pace with inflation, only up 3 percent.

Venerable news organizations taking Christmas carols seriously: priceless.

(Source: the AP’s Dan Nephin, via AmericaBlog)

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