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June 25

Office mating

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:02 am

Working it on April 6, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

First off, YOU ROCK!!! OK, now to business. There is this guy at work who is a Major BABE. (I rarely use that word but in this case, it fits). We have recently become Great Friends. We hang out all the time and are constantly doing things together. I have to say that he is not only beautiful on the outside, but on the inside!!!! Anyway, everyone at work is in love with him, and he is hanging out with me. My problem is, I am starting to really feel for him. And I don’t know what to do.

On one hand I think, Yeah I should be happy being his Friend (I hate that word). And on the other: He is the one I have been looking for. He is the greatest guy. Any woman would be very lucky to have him…. It needs to be me !!

Should I do anything?? At the worst, we will be life long friends, at the best we will grow old together. Breakup Girl, I need your words of wisdom. Do I tell this guy what he means to me, and risk the chance of messing up the friendship?

Or keep my mouth shut and drool every time we are together?

— Margaritaville

(more…)

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April 16

Working overtime

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:38 am

The Predicament of the Week from March 23, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

There is this guy that I met while working. We were in different departments but on the same floor. He was always there to listen to me and give me advice and noticing when I wasn’t happy or having problems at work. There is no doubting if you are agreeable to somebody when they see you and break out into a gigantic smile, every time. At first I didn’t think of him as anything more than a cool guy. But one day I woke up and realized that I was attracted to him not because of what he looks like but because I felt comfortable around him (which you must understand for me is strange since I’ve had odd relationships up until now). We had a fall-out in which he said to me that he knew me very well, that I was an emotional person, that when I became emotional I was defensive and when I became defensive, that made him uncomfortable because he felt that he needed to justify himself to me. All true, but it seemed odd that two people that were just co-workers were sharing with each other.

(more…)

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November 23

Dating: the nuclear option

Filed under: News — posted by Mia @ 1:41 pm

The Nuclear Regulatory Commission’s strategy for attracting bright young talent gives new meaning to the phrase “nuclear fusion.”

As Jim McDermott, NCR chief human capital officer, said last week, “There are incentives, and then there are incentives. When we’re hiring, we say, ‘Is there a significant other in the picture?’ If there’s no significant other, I tell them, ‘We can help.’ ”

As the Federal Times blog explains, “McDermott said his unorthodox recruitment pitch works because while nuclear engineers may know how to split atoms, they’re not quite so adept on the dating front.”

I admit I got a bit skeeved upon reading “human capital officer” in the same breath as “dates” — and McDermott never explains exactly how his group can help — but there is something refreshing in that cool logic. Who can appreciate a nerd as well as a nerd? If highly specialized work is your life, then the physics lab might in fact be the best place to — as the blog puts it —  “meet other single engineers (who probably won’t roll their eyes at Star Trek or lectures on reactor cooling systems).” Niche dating in all flavors, especially nerd dating is on the rise thanks to the internet, and as BG points out, many geeky pursuits are inherently social.

And nobody’s being pimped out here. With more gender balance in the work environment, the notion of finding a suitable mate is extended to every engineer being courted by the  Nuclear Regulatory Commission. So far, NRC’s dating scheme, whatever it is — and which McDermott jokingly calls “NRC Harmony,” after eHarmony — has resulted in about eight or nine weddings.

Coda: While some blog commenters think find McDermott’s candor stereotyping and impolitic, NerdyGirl truly gets in the last word:”Who let the Muggles in? They’re the only ones who are whinging about what McDermott said. When your head is full of crunchy data goodness, it’s smart to have someone who understands that you don’t have time to get all ‘socially smooth’ like the Muggles are. There are too many interesting things to research and process…”

Lagniappe: 16 Golden Retrievers Teach You About Atoms! You’re welcome.

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September 22

Advice update: What happened in Vegas!

Filed under: Advice,News,Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:49 am

Perhaps you recall this no-longer-lovelorn letter from Cheryl, who’d been head over hizzeells with her boss, though he “never gave [her] any reason to think he was the least bit interested.” Well! After moving to a better job, she told us, she — per BG’s advice, ahem — gave it one shot with him, and…cue wedding chapel bells! Here is the happy couple, Cheryl just wrote to tell us, on their happy day, lucky 9-09-09. Congratulations!

Disclaimer: Remember, the goal of life/love/this website is not GET MARRIEDMARRIEDMARRIEDMARRIED. (Or even DON’TBESINGLESINGLESINGLE.) You’ve got enough people telling you that. We just want you to be happy — whatever that looks like for you. Cheers!

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May 22

Success in the love department

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:22 am

Climbing the corporate lad, from February 9, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

Now that I’m over my ex (although there are still a few of his belongings in my garage; I think I’ll create some metal art), I’m ready to move on. There is a fellow at my workplace whom I’ve recently met; he works in another department in another building, is friendly and has a photograph of he and his daughter on his desk (no wife). I would like to get to know more about him. Well, in this world of appropriate workplace behaviour, how do I get the two of us together outside of the office in order to find out more about him? In my position at work I am confident and can tackle the unknown, but in my personal life I can’t seem to initiate that first step. What’s a professional woman to do?

— Tired of Following the Rules

(more…)

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January 26

Currently at MSN.com: She flirts with her exes, but I can’t

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:30 am

MSN datingAsk Lynn, Breakup Girl’s alter ego’s advice column at MSN.com (powered by Match.com), is now being updated monthly rather than weekly (boo!) … but on the plus-side, you’ll get two new letters at a time (yay!). For January, we’ve got a gal with some office intrigue and a couple with trust issues…

1. Not Safe For Work is worried that dating her boss’s friend might affect her job

and

2. Haunted by Her Past has a girlfriend that is uncomfortably chummy with her exes, yet always checking his phone for the same behavior

Read the letters and advice, then come back here to comment!

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November 11

Married at your job

Filed under: News — posted by Jackie @ 10:50 am

You finish each other’s sentences. You each know how the other likes their coffee. You share inside jokes about your boss’s 70s wardrobe.

3 of 7 tell-tale signs that you have a work spouse.

Do you? (And if so/applicable, how does your home spouse feel about it?)

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October 24

Rebound, Inc.

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:11 am

Classic LetterMoving on from January 12, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I just broke up with my beau of eight years; now I am FIERCELY attracted to a co-worker. I have never asked a guy out. Should I start now, and ask this one out?

–Hopeless


Dear Hopeless,

Of course you’re fiercely attracted to a co-worker. Let me guess: is it Bob from Accounting … or Joe from Rebound? Right after the end of such a long relationship, everyone’s going to look good — especially the beaux-to-be who are the worst ideas. Breakup Girl is not saying you should never ask this guy out. I am just saying that you need to be particularly circumspect about stirring up a solution that contains not one but two combustible ingredients. My advice: let Octavio from the Piercing Parlor be your rebound. Then see how good Joe looks to you in the company cafeteria.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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October 16

Say ex with flowers

Filed under: Treats,TV — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:25 am

It’s not necessarily one of those days, like, say, International Women’s Day, that prompts us to suggest, “Shouldn’t every day be… ?” But today, according to CBS and 1-800-FLOWERS, is Ex Day. (Unlike, say, International Women’s Day, Ex Day does have corporate sponsors.)

Inspired by the new CBS series The Ex List (BG, distracted by Prison Break, Chuck, and Sarah Palin, has been utterly remiss in her field research! Any reviews?), the initiative is designed to “let love bloom again” and “bring new life to past relationships through a special ‘Ex Day’ bouquet.”

From the press release: “According to a recent study by Wakefield Research, 39% of people feel they let ‘the One’ get away, and more than 2 in 5 Americans still have romantic feelings for an ex. Tapping into an American impulse to reconnect with a past love [the French don’t do that?], the Ex Bouquet™ sends a heartfelt and understated message and can be delivered same day at the click of a mouse, thereby eliminating the stress of an awkward ‘ex encounter.’ [Except for the part where your ex’s new squeeze is sitting at the next desk.] Crafted from fresh carnations, Gerbera daisies, Asiatic lilies, daisy poms and button poms, the aromatic arrangement says, ‘How have you been? Now you are in the awkward position of having to call me to say thanks even though you’ve moved on, leaving me to pick apart your ‘mixed messages’ and in no better a place than where I started‘ in muted green and white hues.”

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October 15

Beyond therapy

Filed under: Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:17 am

I never quite understand what’s going on when companies — like Lexus, say — “build their brands” by putting “content” on their websites that has nothing to do with … Lexus. But after watching these geeeeeenius (and BG-relevant!) videos starring Lisa Kudrow, I just don’t care.

Web Therapy

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