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Dear Breakup Girl,
My ex and I broke up almost a year ago. It was kind of rough, but I am a "get
out there and better yourself during this period" kind of girl. In the past
year, I finished grad school, started a great new job, and have been doing rather
well. Almost too well.
Now, I really don't want a boyfriend. I am very happy by myself, and like the
way that I have my (somewhat limited) time to myself, my friends, my dog, etc.
I am an intelligent, funny, attractive woman and I don't like to play games.
I have been perfectly upfront with the past three guys I have gone out with
about my not wanting to establish any kind of serious relationship. Unfortunately,
even though they said they totally agreed ("What a relief -- a woman who's not
looking for a commitment!"), each one of them started pressuring me for more
time until I had to stop seeing them. Although I liked each of them; I didn't
really mind not being with them. Except for one part -- the sex.
So, here's my question: is it totally wrong to establish a sex-only relationship
with one person? I already have a candidate in mind. I'm not saying this is
a permanent situation; just for the time while I don't want to be in a relationship.
I don't want to keep sleeping with different people only to have the serious
relationship thing comes up. But I am a young woman who has desires and urges.
My friends are split on this; some say it's a great idea, others say that I
will get hurt and it can never work. What do you think, BG; can this be done?
-- My Way
Dear My Way,
Totally wrong? No.
But:
Totally easy to make
sure you're on the same page* before you embark? No. Totally easy to stay
on the same page once you do? No.
And: totally guaranteed to make you less lonely than you
were before? No.
Love,
Breakup Girl
* Those guys who kept calling probably were. They were
just willing to make it a nightly lack-of-commitment.
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