Dear Breakup Girl,
How and when do you know when's "THE" time to confess your
feelings for someone? I mean, it seems weird just to bring it up in a typical
conversation (i.e. How's your day? Oh BTW, I think I love you"). I also
don't want to put her under any pressure, which may be unavoidable ... but one
can hope, right? Thanks for listening.
Correct.The reason why it seems weird to shoehorn a
declaration of love into a typical conversation is that a declaration of love
is not typical conversation (unless you're a character in the movie
Showgirls, where you would not believe what passes for typical
conversation). So yes, time -- along with place and context -- is key. But
Breakup Girl doesn't have quite enough facts. From the way you describe it, it
sounds like this "I love you" might come as a bit of a surprise to
your intended. I mean, are you "confessing" your feelings in an
existing relationship -- or are you asking someone out? In the latter case, I
recommend starting off with "How's your day? I love ... the Coen brothers.
Want to see the Big Lebowski with me?" If you two have already got it
going on, then pop the confession at a pleasant -- but not overly orchestrated
-- moment. Not an all-out ambush; just a nice surprise.
By the way, I think you just intended it as shorthand, but one detail in your
letter compels me to issue this warning: anyone who says things like
"BTW" (and "LOL," etc.) in actual verbal conversation is
going straight to Breakup Jail. Especially if you're a character in
Showgirls II: Virtual Vixens.