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April 6, 1998   CONTINUED e-mail e-mail to a friend in need


BG Presents:
A Special Shout-Out to Nice Guys

Dear Breakup Girl,

First I must congratulate you on the Curse of the Friend-Boy comic -- it's a stroke of genius!

I would like to say that for all the NICE GUYS it is possible to go out and have a good time without having to be with a girl. Granted it is much nicer when they are around, but if you can go out and have a good time without worrying which woman will fall victim to your next freindly smile, and turn you into one of her ever growing confidants, things different will happen. I can say this from experience. I used to go out to places where it was easy to meet people, and while I was out I would focus on that, Meeting Someone. This didn't help because one of the traits of being a NICE GUY is that you have some degree of shyness that makes making a move or whatever, a little more difficult than for most. As a result you try to over-compensate for this by coming on way too strong. This is good for getting to know someone, in a way, but is inherently bad in trying to achieve that little something to let the girl know your interested. It usually, in a subtle way, scares them off. If you're relaxed and just "go with the flow" (sorry, couldn't help the cliche term) and have a good time for YOURSELF, women will notice that in a different way. I don't know why, I can't explain it but it does seem to work better than imposing yourself upon them. Also you won't get hung up on "I'm a NICE GUY" while you're out. I think that shows through somehow and women pick up on it as "He's a NICE GUY, I can tell him stuff like he's the brother I never had."

Just to let all those nice guys out there that I am still with them, I have been single for well over a year. In saying that some may wonder how I can give advice. Well a year is a long time to look, listen and ponder things out. It is also a time to become comfortable with yourself, which you really must be before you can truly be with some one else. I do have a vast realm around my current place of dwelling in which I have many freinds who are girls, AND have heard the "I THINK OF YOU AS THE GREATEST FRIEND" line more times than I can count. I don't even go out of my to be nice, it is just in me. I don't move furniture or anything like that, I'm not even sure what it is that makes them think I'm nice, but that's what I get. Getting back to the point: since I began not really worrying about it things have changed a little, and are becoming better as time goes on. I wouldn't give up the friendships I have with the girls for the world, but I no longer let it bother me that they are just friendships. As BG has said, some of the best romances do come from friends first. After relaxing a bit certain freindships just might take on a different appeal for both parties, and hey, you never know.

On a final note I would like to say that BG gives wonderful advice: guys, follow it. As corny as it sounds above all else see yourself as you first, and others will follow. Make the move when there is the possibility, don't let it fade away. Don't fear rejection, sometimes it's a good thing (you'll know when it is, trust me). Hopefully sometime down the proverbial road women will find you an irresistible babe just like Nice Guy Bob!

-- Friendship King

BG responds: Thanks, FK. Damn, you're nice.



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