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June 22, 1998   CONTINUED e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

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Summer Reading, Volume III


Dear Breakup Girl,

I dated this guy for a year and a half, and for months he has not been speaking to me, I finally blew him off in a letter (no other way when I'm at school, he's never home, and of course won't call me back), saying that I never wanted to hear from him again, not that I ever thought I would. Well, someone had to cut the cord.

All well and good, right? Well, it's summer, and I'm dreading coming home (I'm going to summer school here partly to avoid him -- but I'll be home half the summer anyway) because I know I'll run into him (we live in one of those towns where you run into everyone eventually). My mother just told me that she'd run into him a few days ago (he looked embarrassed -- he should).

Which leads me to wonder: how should I act when that joyous moment occurs? What I am planning to do is when I see him (regardless of if he sees me or not) is to turn and walk away -- what else is there to say, it's not as if I'm trying to preserve a friendship or that I'm even remotely friendly anymore. But some people I've talked to think I should be friendlier than that -- some think I should say hi, how ya doing, then leave; some think I should just smile, whatever. I don't see why I should be friendly to someone who treated me like crap and couldn't even be man enough to dump me. What do you think?

-- Disillusioned Nice Guy Dater


Dear Dis,

You should be friendly to someone who treated you like crap. Why? Two words: moral superiority. He no doubt expects you to be Huffy Turn and Walk Away Girl ... but no. You are polite and dignified at all times. No melodrama, no small talk. Just Hello...Goodbye. You'll keep (a) your pride, and (b) him guessing.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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