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Dear Breakup Girl,
I recently moved to Philly to be with my long distance boyfriend. We were
"madly in love" and he was telling everyone (including me) he was
ready to marry me. So I hopped in my car and moved out. All at once things
changed--no big surprise--but he started pushing me away and "flexing his
freedom muscles." Eventually, the relationship could handle no more and so
we broke it off. Now, almost two months later, he wants to be friends, but I am
having a terrible time. I still love him dearly, but I am still hurt and I
can't stop second guessing myself. I want to move on, but I don't want him
completely out of my life--he's just too special. How do I do this? Feel
comfortable, relax and just be willing to have a good time with him on a
platonic frienship level?
-- Lorien
Dear Lorien,
Well, Philadelphia is the City of Brotherly
Love. Which bodes better for the platonic part than the "madly" part.
(Also, Conde Nast Traveler Magazine rated Philadelphia America's FRIENDLIEST
City. Uh oh. Word to the wise: try and relocate to places with slogans more
like "...is for Lovers.")
But look, if you're not ready to hang out with him,
you're not ready. If it smarts too much now, then give yourself a little more
time to keep your distance; it doesn't mean he'll always be "out of your
life." I mean, we're friends with England again, but it took a
while.
Speaking of which, did he really say "flexing his
freedom muscles?" Euw. He may have taken the tour of Independence Hall one
too many times.
Love,
Breakup Girl
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