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Dear Breakup Girl,

One of my guy friends just informed me that he has feelings for me, more than just friends. I have to admit that I am attracted to him and enjoy spending time with him as well. The problem is, I just recently got engaged to my boyfriend of five years. The relationship with my fiance has its ups and downs like any normal relationship. I love my fiance, would never cheat on him or hurt him in any way. But now I can't stop thinking about this friend lately. I also feel sad since we're not hanging out with each other any more. Everything has changed between us and he felt it best that we no longer be close friends. I'll just see him at mutual friend parties. I just feel confused. Could you be in love with two people at the same time? I just don't know what to do now.

Love,
Torn

Dear Torn,

I don't have enough data to say for sure, but my hunch is that if your friend hadn't said anything to you, you wouldn't have said anything to me. In other words, what was an admission of love for him was a wake-up call for you. As in the one that makes you go, "Holy cow, I'm going to be waking up next to the same person for the rest of my life!!!" Know what I mean?

As for the friend's keeping his distance, it's really sad, but it's also his own feelings-sparing prerogative. Don't force things; let him do what he has to do for his bereft self.My other hunch is that he'll eventually come around. But maybe not to your wedding.

So if there's anything you're not telling me, well, tell me. But otherwise, you're not in love with two people; you're in a really big scary commitment with one.

Love,
Breakup Girl

P.S. The next letter might help, too.

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