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Dear Breakup Girl,
I am totally confused by my ex-boyfriend. I dated this guy for only a couple
months, but fell head over heels for him almost immediately! He and I had
everything in common, or so it seemed.
One of the greatest things about him was that every day when he got home
from work, the first thing he would do was call me. I could practically set my
watch- half an hour after he was scheduled to finish,he'd call me. It didn't
matter if it was 5pm or 11pm (he worked anywhere from 40-80 hours a week
between two jobs).
He was also very affectionate, telling me how much he cared about me, etc.
The only problem was, he would occasionally say things like "Some day I'll
meet a really great girl and get married." Now, I'm a college student, and
a realist, and I know that guys aren't looking to marry someone they date at
age 20. Even so, it bothered me to here him say that. It made me feel like I
was just an amusement before the feature presentation or something.
Well, I went away on vacation for a week, and spoke with him on the phone a
couple times while I was gone. The night that I got back we spent the whole
evening snuggling and watching South Park episodes. Then, the next day, we went
to his cabin and while we were sitting around, he made another one of his
"Someday..." comments. I was so frustrated that I said "I don't
even know why I bother with this. I should just go meet someone else."
Well, I immediately regretted it and apologized, but he started in on this
whole "As long as we know this relationship isn't going anywhere, its fine
for both of us right?" I said that under normal circumstances it might
work out, but I told him that I hated knowing that as soon as he met someone
even slightly more interesting than me he'd toss me out like yesterday's
To make a long story short (ok, too late, how about shortER), we ended up
breaking up, and when he drove me home he said he'd call me tomorrow, and I
told him not to call me for a very long time. The next day, I regretted it, and
called him back and apologized, at which time he shouted triumphantly into the
phone "HA! I knew you still wanted me!" Then we started talking and
agreed that the whole argument was a misunderstanding, but he didn't want to
get back together again, just be the same only "informal."
Since then we had one more huge argument over a rude comment he made to one
of my friends (he was joking but she made a huge deal out of it and I got
caught in the middle) but made up AGAIN. After that, though, it seems like
things aren't as good as they were before, we hardly talked, if at all, but it
seems like he is always WATCHING me. Every time I go to the club where we met,
he's there, and he just STARES at me. Now, normally this wouldn't bother me,
but I still care about him a lot, and it drives me crazy to always see him
looking at me, because when I try to go talk to him, he looks at me with this
appalled look, like I have bugs crawling out of my mouth or something. I can't
stand these mixed signals! I could be over this guy by now (it's been almost
two months since we broke up) but I can't get it out of my head that he still
cares about me, otherwise why would he always be watching me? When I dance with
other guys he glares at me or takes off, yet if I ever try to joke around with
him about something he usually gets very uncomfortable and ends the
conversation. The last time I saw him, I didn't notice him standing with some
friends as I walked through a club, and he said hi to me while not turning to
face me, then hid his head after he said it. I had no idea what that meant, so
just said hi, smiled and kept walking.
What do you think? Does this guy still like me? Should I give up? Should I
pour my heart out and see what happens?
I don't know what bothers me more, his
"Someday..." refrain, or the fact that you "snuggled" to
South Park. Either way, from what you tell me, this guy's not coming through
for you any time soon. He strikes me as, um, really weird and annoying. And how
come YOU feel bad about calling him on it? That, actually, bothers me most of
all. Next time, watch those bastards kill Kenny alone.
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