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November 9, 1998   CONTINUED e-mail e-mail to a friend in need


Dear Breakup Girl,

I haven't had a boyfriend for 2 years ( I'm 16). Lately I have just been frustrated because every guy in high school seems to be so immature. And, I had pretty much given up on guys. Then this year at school I start talking to this one guy, he doesn't come to my school but plays on the soccer team-- and I'm on the volleyball team. We started talking, on the way to games, tournaments, etc. Anyway, a couple weeks ago I hear he likes me. And I realized a few days ago that I like him more than a friend also. He is such an awesome guy and he's not stupid and immature like the other guys, he is 18. What I'm wondering is -- am I just liking him because he likes me and I haven't had a boyfriend for a while, or do I really like him? I'm so confused. Plus, I just don't know about relationships, it seems like a waste of time because we are just gona go out, and either I will break up and hurt him, or he will break up w/me and I will be hurt. This is my problem I analyze every little thing and convince myself that there is no way I might actually just have fun in the relationship, I never see the good side. Please write back and help me, I am in serious need of some advice!!!


Dear Nicole,

There's an expression called "beer goggles" that I will explain to you in the perhaps vain hope that sixteen-year-olds are unfamiliar with it. It's about the non-wholesome notion that, well, anyone looks attractive after the checker-outer has had a few brewskis. But there's also a much more wholesome corollary: Attention Goggles. Someone starts mackin' on you, that boyski buzz kicks in, and all of a sudden you're like, "I NEVER REALIZED WHAT AN INTERESTING PERSON HE IS." Which is not to say that your feelings, or at least interest-sparkage, are invalid. Heck, he's proving he has good taste. So quit wondering and worrying -- and go with it. At least long enough for the goggles to come off. But everything else should stay on, young lady.

Breakup Girl



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