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THANK GODDESS FOR MY ASSISTANT.

Dear Breakup Girl,

I work on the school newspaper. I go in in September to work on my section and bam, this gorgeous boy is one of my assistants. So I hint. I help him lay out his page, I edit his stories (well, I'm supposed to do those, I'm his editor), I introduce him to my caustic brand of sarcasm, I laugh at his jokes, which are funny anyway.

That's ALL I do.

He asks me to a jazz concert; I can't go, but I take him to my friend's Halloween party, which sucks, so we get coffee instead. We do this coffee thing again, with friends. He has the grace to tell me that he doesn't really have much experience talking to girls. His friend drives us home; I reach over in the back seat and take his hand. We get to my house; I lean over to kiss him goodnight and he flinches. I say hey, he says goodnight, rather firmly, I get out of the car and say seeya Monday.

Ok. I know he's inexperienced, and I most definitely am not. I really like him; he's funny, he's smart, he laughs at my jokes. And he's lovely to look at. But he's shy.

So. How do I avoid scaring this guy off? I warned him already about my being feminist-pagan-asian-future-physics-major, and he's met some of my friends. He hasn't run screaming in the opposite direction yet, which is a good sign, but is there anything I should do to help avoid it happening?

--Lorraine

PS Ohmigoddess, he's gorgeous. Mentally, when I sit next to him, I am going "No! Don't touch! Bad!" <slaps own hand>. This is perhaps complicated by my recovering from the end of my first sexual relationship halfway through September. I miss sex. A lot. My former other half got burned pretty bad, though, and I guess I didn't entirely escape either. But yeah. Work your magic, Breakup Girl.

Dear Lorraine,

Well, you never know with the "shy"/"inexperienced" thing. I mean, he could be thinking, "Oh, my God, please don't let her make a move!" OR he could be thinking, "Oh, my God, please let this Goddess make a move, 'cause I certainly won't!" I think it's most useful for you to look at what he does do (ask you to a jazz concert), not what he doesn't do (run screaming). Sounds like you two have a nice thing going already, anyway. I'd wait a little while before trying to plant one again. That way -- whatever he's thinking -- he'll at least get the message from you that you two can hang either way. And if you do hook up, be discreet and dignified; keep it out of the newsroom. I don't want to have to edit his story about dating his boss.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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