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February 15, 1999   CONTINUED e-mail e-mail to a friend in need


Dear Breakup Girl,

Last summer I cheated on my boyfriend of one year. I was at a beach party and I ended kissing another guy that I had gone steady with before. I only kissed him, that was all I did. Anyway I told my boyfriend about it and he never gave me a chance to explain what happened. So we decided just to be friends and for me to stay with my boyfriend.

Rodney, the boyfriend, didn't let me tell him the truth. He thinks that I cheated on him because I wanted to. The truth is I cheated because I really needed to know if it was Rodney I loved or Joey the guy I cheated with. I realized that I loved Rodney and that my heart and soul belonged to him but he doesn't know that. I realized I did something very wrong and wish that I never had done that. For the past 7 months since we have been split up I have been trying to tell Rodney the truth. He will not listen to me. My question is how do I get Rodney to listen to me and how can I get the love of my life back? Please help me.

-- Courtney

Dear Courtney,

Not that I don't believe you, kiddo, but I'm pretty sure that you cheated on Rodney because you were at a beach party and ended up kissing another guy. Not because you had planned to do some chemistry experiment to find out whom you loved more. But I don't at all dispute that you did, in the sandy process, learn that Rodney is da man.

But. Well, you've probably figured this out by now, but people don't really like to hear things like, "My dear, I love you so much that when I cheated on you I didn't enjoy it all that much!" See, sweetie, Rodney was really hurt and mad and -- though I'm sure you don't mean it this way -- your still trying to tell him "the truth" may just sound to him like trying to sweet-talk yourself off the hook. I know you are DYING to set things straight, but whatever's going on, bugging him isn't working. Don't hate me, but you may have to drop it for now, punkin. I'm sorry. I know it doesn't feel this way now and that I am about to sound like your square aunt, but I promise you, there will be other fish at the beach. Catch them one at a time, okay?

Breakup Girl



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