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August 23, 1999   CONTINUED e-mail e-mail to a friend in need


Dear Breakup Girl,

There is this girl who is very flirty with almost every guy she meets, especially tall, cute, handsome guys. She is a senior in high school and has never had a boyfriend before. However, she is not shy and is not afraid to express her flirtatious behavior with other boys (like sleeping on one's shoulder, asking someone for a massage, hugging, tickling, and making sexual comments and gestures). She doesn't seem to want a relationship.

Another note: She is very concerned about whether or not her dad knows about her flirtatious behavior, and she is very fearful of her dad catching her talking to another guy. She can't even tell him that she is going out with a guy, and she is not allowed to attend school dances.

To make a long story short: I am a victim of her flirtatiousness (not sure if that's a word), but when we are alone together, we cannot help but cuddle together, but it doesn't go beyond cuddling. We don't even kiss. I told her that I loved her, but it doesn't seem that she loves me back. If this is true, why is she always flirting with me? I want to know WHY IN THE WORLD she act the way she does...what is the deal with her? I am a pretty smart guy, and I probably know that if I ask whether or not I should pursue this girl, you would say NO...so the thing I want to know is WHY does this girl act this way?


Dear Bobby,

Why does she act this way? Because she can. As in, that's about all she can do, given what you say about her Footloose father. You can pursue her if you want, my friend, but if you do -- successfully, which may not involve saying "I love you" this soon -- and if you ever want to see her, you also may wish to pursue some sort of compromise with her dad. And frankly, nothing would say "I love you" like that would.

Breakup Girl



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