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Dear Breakup Girl,

I'm 15 and going into 10th grade. I'm having this really weird relationship with a girl that I just don't know what to do with.

One day a friend tells me that 10 of us are going out to dinner together. Only four of us show up: 2 guys, 2 girls. We ate dinner and I really enjoyed it, and I really got to like one of the girls. The next day I called her, and we talked. It was really cool. I was really funny and almost made her pee in her pants 4 times in one 30 minute phone call. She liked me on the spot, although I'm probably the most hated guy in the grade (cause I'm a little bit rebellious and, um, like to stick up for my thoughts on very touchy subjects). So for that week, and the weeks to come, we'd talk tons. Talking 10-14 hours in a row became normal for us. We once talked the whole night and didn't sleep the night before a final exam. We were pretty nuts. So one night, she said something really cute, and I told her that I loved her, and she told me that she loved me too. I was the happiest guy on earth. The next day in school, I hugged her and everyone was shocked (as I told you, Mr. Rebel isn't exactly Mr. Popular). That same day, she calls me to tell me that she wasn't really sure if she loved me and that she found our relationship a bit weird. I got really mad, not because she didn't love me, but because she lied to me. (I trusted her with a lot of stuff.)

So anyway, after that day things got worse and worse. Our conversations became boring, So I told her that we should stop talking and start going out. We went out to dinner and the movies twice, and the second time I found it appropriate to hold her hand and hug and cuddle, but she thought otherwise. She told me that I was going too fast, and then I told her that she wasn't the right girl for me (because she didn't wanna go further). We haven't talked since (she's been on vacation), and I just don't know what to do. I really love her, and she's really perfect. We were best friends and stuff, but now things are messed up. I have another girl that wants to go out with me and is dying to go far, but I know I'll be missing out on another girl that has a better personality/character, etc. What should I do? Give my girlfriend a little explanation about how the whole boyfriend/girlfriend concept works (and that holding hands isn't so bad!)? Maybe she doesn't trust me? Maybe she has no feelings for me? Maybe she's a little distorted and thinks I'll take things too far? Should I go for the other girl to make her mad and maybe she'll come back? I just don't know. You're the girl! Tell me your opinion, I'm just dying to know!

--Stealthy

Dear Stealthy,

Here's what I think might have happened. As I discussed last week -- and as I'm sure you know all too well -- if high school were a game like rock, paper, scissors, then Popularity would beat even Love. In other words, I'm not sure she outright "lied." It's hard to fake your way through a 14-hour conversation, or through bladder emergencies, especially the night before a test.

However. Hate to be harsh, but you said it yourself: no fair, but you are not Mr. Popular. So your hugging her (I'M NOT SAYING YOU MESSED UP) was like outing her. Talking to Mr. Rebel on the privacy of your own phone is one thing; touching him in public is quite another. I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS OKAY. But you know that this, all too often, is how it is. So she freaked.

Talk to her if you like, Stealthy, sure. Tell her how you feel. But no matter what happens, with her or Girl 2, keep this in mind: I want you to date girls not because they'll put out for you, but because they'll put themselves out there for you.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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